This is how *SOME* public servants "SERVE" the public

I read this over a blog I got from a blog.
A horrible incident that happened in the golf course involving some public officials who have their balls bigger than their minds.

Blog Link

Is these the guys we vote for? Or are these the guys that force themselves into office so they can act like these? The Philippines is lovable my friends, there's much to love, much to hope... It's just guys like these that makes the Philippines, the Filipino's look bad.

Tsk.

When The Country Is Torn Again

How much is enough? Apparently nothing is enough when one has delved deep into greed.

Today the country again is torn into two, those who are fighting for whatever dignity this country has, and those powerful few that wouldn't give a flying f*** what happens to their people. Public servants my ass.

Rumors around the news lines and the local interwebs have been buzzing about the immenent change of the 1987 Constitution that would allow current President Arroyo to stay in power way past the year 2010. Thus forcing people to step out of their circles just to display their protest and their disapproval of this ruckus. 

How much more will this country bleed into submission?

I refuse to believe that this country will remain at its current stature as the 2nd most corrupt country in the whole friggin world. No, this country deserves better. I refuse to accept the fact that this country will remain as a 3rd world country... 

From the outside looking in, our big ass tax percentage, VAT, and E-VAT should be enough to keep this country out of the fritz. Maybe as far as out of it's debt. How many people eat at Jolibee and McDonalds everyday? take out 10% (VAT) of it and see how much money should be spent on our country...

Then enter our natural resources, we have alot of Gold mines out there, Silver, Nickel and Copper too (according to my Tito who basically knows alot about mining), but then again I don't think we own these mines anymore, this country is being sold out to others... Bled... out of its life. Again this is from someone outside looking into more details.

And now politics, our crazy politics. Sure economy rised after the fall of former President Estrada, but we could've been more. If expenses of certain projects are trimmed from their "extra crap". Based on the fertilizer crap and the former ZTE deal... which amounts to billions of friggin dollars are spent properly on this country then improvements would certainly be felt and seen.

I want my taxes seen!!!!! not just on asphalt patches on our streets!!!! F###!!!!!!!

Next thing you'll know you're going to see the assitant secretary of Defense and the Vice President of the Philippines in the ring beside Manny Pacquiao. For crying out loud? Do you have to display yourselves there? Isn't it enough that you guys saw the fight? You just have to shout yehey in the ring that you don't have anything to do with...

And then your First Gentleman is rumored to be denied of entry in the United States because of undergoing investigation on Money Laundering of which he "could" be involved.

And yet... Economy is improved from previous Governments... F### ME! Too much shame has this current administration have given this country. So far this current administration have seen so many demonstrations and coup de etat attempts compared to the other ones... 

GET A CLUE F###ERS!!!!

I mean... We could have more reasons than Pacquiao to be proud of...

Jason Richardson -> Phoenix

The trade wires began buzzing again this morning (Manila Time) as the Phoenix Suns traded two familiar faces in Raja Bell and Boris Diaw to Charlotte for Jason Richardson. Sean Singletary of the Suns is also included in the trade along with Jared Dudley and future 2nd round pick going to Phoenix.

On paper, I'd be happy with the trade, this trade would certainly boost their ratings in either NBA 2K9 or NBA Live 09, I'm just not sure what it would do to the franchise. The Suns basically gave up a little bit of their depth of the bench and their most tenacious defender in Bell. But honestly, what would you do with a player who's not thriving in the new system that Coach Porter is using. 

Jason Richardson, a 2 time slam dunk champion, capable of shooting threes and basically an entertaining player to see on court, will be able to help the Phoenix Suns get more points but will he really answer the very thing that Suns GM Steve Kerr, and coach Terry Porter wanted to improve? Defense?

... at least Kerr did something good to this team... will reserve my comments later on.

When I Hear You Call

Gary Valenciano - When I Hear You Call
another homer right here... made me say hello to subtle tears pa... ok ok i cried... not a big deal.

Video Link

and here's the lyrics of the song

When I
Look into those bright eyes
So young
Always so ready to run
Then I
See your change when fun subsides
And new colors start to arise
There's a hidden picture
That wasn't seen outside

When you run, don't tire
Keep on reaching, higher
Even when the pain and trouble bring you down, sometimes
I will see you through
I'm forever right here with you
Even when you feel you don't need me around

I will be your friend, forever
I will be your one, big brother
Even when I see you fall
I will be your father
When I hear you call

Don't cry
This is not the end, nor goodbye
But begin
To know I'm with you 'til the end
And when you pray
I will hear every word you say
And so with all my promises made
For one like you
Someone who's especially made

When you run, don't tire
Keep on reaching, higher
Even if the pain and trouble bring you down, sometimes
I will see you through
I'm forever right here with you
Even if you feel you don't need me around

I will be your friend, forever
I will be your one, big brother
Even when I see you fall
I will be your father
Yeah

I will be your friend, forever
I will be your big brother
Even when I see you fall
I will be your father
Yeah

I will be your friend, forever
I will be your big brother
Even when I see you fall
I will be your father
Be your friend, your brother
When I hear you call
Lift you when you fall
When I hear you call

The Need to Get IT Together

At this point, being 23 years old and all, I got to stop thinking that I'm still young, because I'm not. I need to think about what I'm going to do for the next following X years. Right now I'm lost and have no idea where to go to, and hopefully this is where I begin.

I got lost along the way, losing hope and all, oh and if you don't have a clue on what I'm talking about, It's about saving my professional career. I got lost along the way, no clue on what to do, and too hopeless to start doing what needs to be done. And right now, at this second, at 1:56 am on the 7th of November of the year 2008, something needs to be done. I need to finish what I have started.

I know my shit, and have been too complacent on it. Just had a reality check with my big brother that if I stay like this for two more years... I'll be next to useless. As of now that's how I feel.

So I guess I need to refocus on what needs to be done, drop the other stuff that gets in the way, tie my shoelaces and run towards that goal. Freak... I am indeed 23 years old and I don't want to turn out to be next to useless. It's not going to be easy living out of my comfort zone, heck nothing is really easy to begin with, but if I need to do something about this dance, I gotta buckle up my dance shoes and take a lead on this one. Life should begin at this intersection... so help me God.

So I'm going to have to put the other things aside from now... No more playing games (except for sports), and hobbies... I guess they can wait. You, my friends, will still be there, fo shizzle, or I'll be found hanging on a tree not being the proudest monkey if it wasn't for you guys, but yeah... at this point in time... I need to get IT together.

... ... so help me God

NBA League Pass Channel?

To Cablelink subscribers...

anyone know if we still have the NBA League Pass Channel? If we still have it, what channel can I find it? I haven't seen it on channel 51 lately. :(

Day 3 (frustrated)

Frustrations have been piling up on me lately.

Saturday I lost a poker night, I never even got good cards on me... I got aces, true, but with 5's or deux... how would you bank on that?

Anyway on to the quest story.

Sunday afternoon, lunch time, the family decided to go to this restaurant named Cravings first, and as I went on looking for good stuff to order on the menu, this burger picture with melted cheese resting on a thick patty dawned on me, the name beside it even made it better... I will order the Ultimate Cheeseburger... its not just any other Ultimate Cheeseburger... the menu says that it's THE Ultimate Cheeseburger.

but alas... it wasn't available, so we decided to go to Wendy's since everyone was looking forward for burgers that day. As I was looking for something similar to THE Ultimate Cheeseburger (which they dont have) I just ordered what seems to be the most expensive (hoping it's the best they have), The Big Bacon Classic Burger. I told my mom that that's what I like and I went on to bring my nephew to the toy store and get a lesson from him about the names of DC Superheroes.

When I got back the burger wasn't there yet, and I had my expectations running. I munched on some ridiculous fries (not a compliment). It took another 10 minutes and a couple of follow ups to get the staff into realizing that we're still not yet served. Rushing to the end of the story, they mistook my order of the Bacon Classic to... a... Bacon Cheeseburger... wrapped in some normal paper wrap was this maybe less than 6 inch burger that has a thin slice of burger patty, a piece of bacon and torn up cheese. It was less than appealing and it took me about 20 minutes more to realize that i'm hungry and I need to eat that burger no matter what.

I ate the zombified thing that they call a burger. I could've had something better from Burger Machine or Minute Burger. Their buns tasted old... I never even got a taste of what the patty tastes like. It was an utmost disaster and piled up more on the frustrations that has been piling me up all week.

That burger is out there... and unfortunately these zombies are too. But that BURGER is out there somewhere, waiting to be had, waiting to be appreciated, taken care of, and to be loved. She's somewhere out there... And I won't stop until I have her around my palms.

To Leave or Not To Leave

2 years have passed and enter year 2009, 5 months into it, I'd be gunning for three years working in the same company. I've held my own during that stretch, and reasons to stay have gone by. Friends went on to move to another chapter of their work life, Pay has gone from 15th/30th to weekly to guessing. As for me, I wonder with some of my friends, why am I still here?

I used to give out this answer, that I'm happy working there. I didn't mind the delayed pay that I'm getting, I get to learn software development related stuff and such. Right now I'm just full of sh... I ran out of leaves to take day offs, and honestly I don't even care if I lose a days wage just to stay in bed. The office has gone from a place where smiling places and stories come and go to... a fallout shelter with a handful of survivors. It's not the beacon of light that everyone has become accustomed to. Is it time for me to abandon ship?

I don't know where I'm going to see myself after this one though. I'm also thinking to study for a little while, but I don't really know if I can do that at home. Or I could reinsert myself in the industry by looking for another job, new office, new environment, or simply go rogue on this, freelance after studying.

As of now I'm liking the last option since I could go and have my hand on my time and I could shoot here and there with my camera every once in a while. Do the things that I really like instead of waking up everyday dragging myself from bed and put on pants and collared shirts and go to work. I used to like, I just don't know if I can say the same thing right now.

I'm giving myself two months to think about this. December 2008... To leave? or not to leave...

... ... sometimes I think why I even add the 2nd question.

Day 2 (The Journey Continues)

The following events happened between 12:00 pm to 1:00 pm

And so the journey continues in search of the best burger in town. I was told of the burger in Chef d' Angelo, and again my mouth watered. I already have seen it in a plate since that's what my officemate orders when we eat there. And for what it's worth I also enjoy their Salisbury Steak which could be their burger patty as well. With these things in mind and anticipation in part of my mouth, I approached my colleagues to accompany me to Chef d' Angelo in Greenbelt 1 to order one for my fill, but they had other plans.

They already have plans to go to Glorietta to check pillows and shirts. I told myself, well I can still pass by Chef on our way back. We left the office around 12:00 pm and minutes later we're in Greenbelt 1. I realized that Glorietta from Greenbelt is a good 15-20 minute walk, so thats already almost half an hour, plus the time to check shirts and pillows would cost another 30 minutes, the walk back from Glorietta is another 15-20 minute walk, plus the line in Chef and the order time, we'd arrive late in the office so I just decided to leave the dream for a day and continue another day, off we go to Glorietta.

As soon as we arrived in Glorietta a light bulb switched on my mind when I saw what greeted us when we got in. It was a poster of the burgers that made this fastfood chain declare themselves as a King. One decker followed by a double decker followed by a triple decker burger... Burger King said welcome to us when we got in and I knew right there and then that my journey continues.

Skipping through the details of shirt buying and pillow picking, we went to the store to get a glimpse of what I'm eating for lunch today. And choices flooded the menu from left to right starting from the Angus Steakhouse Burger to Chicken Sandwhiches to the BK Deckers to the Whoppers. But I was there for one thing and one thing only, taste what they have to offer and I had my eyes set on the Classic Angus Steakhouse Burger beacause the Loaded version of it was just too nasty (it had mashed potatoes in it).

3rd in line, 2 people away in anticipation of holding that new taste within my hands. It took me 5 minutes to get to the Cashier, to the promised digital machine. I gave my order... 1 Classic Angus Steakhouse Burger with large onion rings and regular drink for take out.

After the order we planned to take the cab because I just couldn't wait to taste what the King can offer. few more minutes I was sitting down on our pantry carefully laying down one meal piece after another. First I took out the Large Onion Rings and placed it carefully on the table and welcoming it to my office since minutes later it'll say goodbye to this world while it serves its purpose. Next was the drink, a fairly size drink that's enough to wash down what I'll have later on. And last but not least the Masterpiece that is the Classic Angus Steakhouse Burger.


It was atleast as heavy as the Jollibee Champ, but I felt the force on this one. I knew right there and then that I will not be disappointed today, I knew right there and then that the Champ will relinquish its day-old belt to the one I was holding at that moment. Slowly I began to unwrap the burger like it was a gift under the tree on Christmas morning. One side at a time, carefully and slowly like making love for the first time. And inch by inch I can finally see it. The patty was about half an inch outside its bun and the cheese was one with the patty. Huge slices of tomatoes, lettuce and bacon bits was inside this masterpiece. I began to admire what I have in my hand, and I started to apologize for what I was about to do. I knew right there and then that the Angus cow gave me a nod of acknowledgement that he died so that I can enjoy that moment there. He along with the onion that was being taken piece by piece was serving their purpose. They have lived their lives not in vain.

Slowly my mouth opened, eager, yet careful... and there it was... the first bite. I was out of description at that moment, but a grunt of satisfaction was belched. I chewed that burger until it was so masticated that it couldn't recognize itself already. I remembered what God knew when He created the world... in the Bible, it said that when God saw His creation He knew that it was good. And upon biting that burger... swallowing every bit of it I felt the same thing, the same (well maybe not really the same) feeling... It was good... I was having a good lunch.

The burger was done, the meal was gone and there I was still thinking about the better burger out there as I was licking my finger of any residue the burger left on it. This beef took the belt right out of the Champ.

And it was good...

... The Quest (Explanation of what it is + Day 1)

Eversince watching episode 2 of How I Met Your Mother, my mouth couldn't stop watering. It just had to stop. I have to find the best burger that my taste buds can ever taste, I just have to.

And this is how I plan to go about the tons of burgers that are around Manila. I'll just eat everything that I can grab hold on to. It doesn't matter if it comes from a local resto or fast food or a clubhouse... as long as it is a burger I'll have to get hold of it.

Health wise... this is suicide... so I'd probably go through 2 burgers a week or 3 a month. This is a long quest, and I don't want to burn out quick.

Day 1 (10-6-2008)
the following events took place between 4:00 pm to 5:00 pm

Office hours was ending and my mouth started to water. I felt the primitive urge within me... I just had to eat something, I was hungry... and I'm hungry for beef. So the search began for a good burger patty in between 2 perfectly shaped buns with sesame sprinkled on it. The taste of lettuce and juicy tomatoes that would circle your mouth until you find the taste of that pickle to go with that juicy burger that would make you not want to brush your teeth again.

So I went down the office with a friend of mine to search for the nearest place that offers a burger. So I saw this small place, Big Brothers sa Salcedo, in front of my office along Salcedo street corner Soria street, and entered it to begin my quest.

The first words that we're out of my mouth was a question if they offered a burger, which they did for 80 bucks. So I got my wallet and paid the fee that was needed for the purchase... a few minutes later I'm bringing back the first burger that would round up and try to make my tummy one happy tummy.

The anticipated first bite was taken after unwrapping the plastic that it had around it... and alas... it didn't hit the mark. It was a burger alright... but I wasn't happy... It has a pickle that tasted like cucumber, and too much of it that I couldn't even taste the burger anymore. I was shattered to have it as my first try. It came to me that this is going to be a long quest.

With a shattered dream, I hurried home.

the following events took place between 10:00 pm to 11:00 pm

The day was nearing it's edge, and I enjoyed a good Monday Night Basketball, and the haunting start of the quest came back to me as my stomach complained and requested for food. I remembered that I didn't eat anything for dinner since I rushed to the courts to make the game.

With 4 companions, we went to this local fastfood chain that everybody loves, Jollibee... Looking at the menu I knew I just had to get the Champ. My friend who went before me ordered one too after sharing the quest that I'm in... and minutes later I find myself in front of the cashier and with a smile on my face I told the guy that I'm going to get myself a Champ with regular fries.
He looked behind the counter and asked if they had a Champ ready to serve...

...
...
alas... It had to be made for me so he asked me if I could wait for 15 minutes for the mouth watering burger... My patience was being tested in this encounter and so I said yes. With regular fries and a big glass of water on my trey I went back to our seat tired, and bruised of hope... My mouth had to wait a little more.

One by one a fry went down, and my watch told me every moment that passed by. My friend who ordered a piece of chicken had his fill, my other friend who ordered the last remaining Champ was just beginning to bite on his, and the 4th member of the fellowship had his spicy chaofan on his plate... I remain patient, and so I took the fries slowly... piece by piece in anticipation of the best burger that this chain can offer.

A crew with a box on a trey started to come out of the counter, as he was inching slowly at our place my arched back begins to straighten up slowly. He stopped to get my number and checking the receipt if it was the correct order... The burger now landed in front of me, smoking of a freshly cooked patty and inviting my mouth to take a munch.

Slowly I begin to open the box, and there it was... The Champ. 1/3 beef patty with big slices of tomatoes and pickles, lettuce after the bun and a cheese on top of the burger... My day will not go down in vain. I took a moment to observe what I held within my hand, and then I took a bite.

There it was... the start of a brand new beginning... a burger I enjoyed! A good start for this quest! And so I just had to say it there and then... It's the best so far.

I went home with a smile and hope of more burgers to come.

After a shower, I slipped into my sheets. Tomorrow will be a brand new day.

The worst thing that happened in EDSA

I was browsing the goodtimes blog to catch up on the latest with the goodtimes radio show on Magic 89.9, and they did not fail to share something amusing, and possibly this one could fight off the "Ellen" billboards in EDSA that DJ Mo Twister has been bickering about since the dawn of their radio show. 

Here it comes... the worst thing that ever donned EDSA so far. Kaibigan... handa ka na ba?

Boy Abunda Billboard, Photo courtesy of http://leviuqse.blogspot.com/

The Michael Guglielmucci Issue

Michael Guglielmucci news clip

this is the news clip about Pastor Michael Guglielmucci coming out and bringing his lie into the light.

weeks? months? ago, the said pastor told everyone including his wife, mother and father that he was suffering from terminal cancer. created a song, that became an anthem to those who knew the song.

The song healer was said to top the charts and was downloaded alot on the itunes store during this time.

the news clip will explain it all...

basically the issue is a pastor created a lie and somehow reaped benefit with it. disappointing? yes... devious... it truly is... but what do we do with it now? what do we do with the song (Healer) now that it is tainted with lie?

for me? i'd still sing it as if nothing happened. people were moved by his "lie"... i was moved by his repentance. watching that clip i couldnt help but feel glad and happy that he did the right thing. i know what repentace can feel and i can just feel what he is feeling now... true freedom from the web of lies he was entangled in. Michael even admitted of his addiction to porn and that i applaud.

We had this wrist band before that has WWJD written all over it... and in this situation.. What would Jesus do? be disappointed? condemn? or display love and embrace this guy... man if i knew this guy, i'd give him a hug.

Matthew 18:21-22

Then Peter came and said to Him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

This is the song that he wrote and sang with Hillsong, you can catch it on their album This is Our God

Hillsong - Healer

Candle Light

tried to write something with what i see during the 1 hour brownout at home.

----------------------------------
Desperate for light
as I'm embraced by the dark night
All i have is this diminishing candle
a few more hours is all that it could handle

Yet it flickers with all its might
giving all it can to shed its light
and accompany me tonight

this room is almost lit
a little candle, short but fit
enough to warm me up with its heat

and now the little candle is almost gone
it took me awhile to write this along
now back to the darkness my eyes belong

Plurk!

Got something in your mind that you wish to share with your friends? well you gotta try this new thing that my brother shared with me... you gotta start Plurkin my friend.

Basically it's like setting your status for the day, and letting your friends know about it. I mean that's the whole reason why you enter IM status anyway right? so why not do it the right way?

With Plurk you can see a timeline of your entered moods/status from day 1 (the day that you joined) until present. People can comment on it, and basically it's helluva fun!

And one thing I've noticed... when you're at work you got alot on your mind to Plurk! And quoting Borat... Thats Nice! Do it now or you're nothing but a stiff, workaholic square hahaha!

On being like little children

I have asked the Lord a dozen times what He meant regarding this passage…

Matthew 18: 1-4

“ At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"

He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

And as a grown up I have forgotten how it felt like being one, being like that of a child. And buried among the worries of work life, social life, heck even love life, it is somehow impossible to feel like one… well impossible to me, but we all know that nothing is impossible to God and so here’s how He brought me back to 1993.

Being drowned by everything and not having control is not what a child feels like. As children all we cared about was watching Voltes V every Saturday afternoon, get sweaty as we play outside with our friends, heck we never even cared if we broke some bones but we still climb trees… no worries, no attachments, carefree children. And at 23, I can’t do that anymore, I have the whole future to think about, to dream about, I’ve got work, tons of work to do, colleagues who depends on me somehow, and a household to pay some bills. Now… tell me how in the world can we go back and free ourselves from these things, and be like children… And so the Lord gave me an opportunity to go out of the country for a week-long vacation, and experience Disneyland, and go bananas shopping in Hong Kong… little did I know the Lord was answering the very prayer I prayed weeks back…

Before I get to my point here’s a little background of my trip. I was with my brother, sister-in-law, and their son- my nephew, together with us were the family of my sister-in-law, together with them are 3 children with an average age of 9 below. So under my wing of responsibilities were three kids, and a toddler… and boy oh boy they we’re a handful. We stayed at Disney’s Hollywood Hotel within the Disneyland island and stayed there for 4 nights and 5 days. Their food was expensive, but awesome and they have these Mickey Mouse waffles… they’re waffles that has the face of Mickey Mouse.

During the trip I’ve seen these children run around, get preoccupied with toys, and fight amongst each other because of one not letting the other one borrow. Of course as an adult I tried being a mediator, and try some reasoning with a 3 year old and a 7 year old… of course it didn’t work. And of course I couldn’t help but feel some anger, frustrations, and annoyed when these circumstances happen, but even if they’ve done you wrong like accidentally poke a lady in the butt with their toy, or spill a drink on you, or throw up on the pillow you’re going to sleep in, or even slapping you silly because they can’t get what they want… but once they look at you and understand what they did, and tell you “Sorry Tito Marc...” oh my goodness my heart just melts and I completely forget everything they did there. And after saying their sorry they’ll go about their things, and you can just see how confident children are under adults love. Sometimes they don’t even know what they do, but even after they write on the wall of your room, mess up some of your collectibles, even without saying sorry they’ll just run towards you and make hug you where they can, every emotion will just flitter away. And so I understood what the passage meant.

We, as children of God should be confident of the forgiveness that’s there even if we have wronged Him. Even if we have lived unholy lives in front of a Holy God, we know that there’s an underlying fact that He loves us very much that He’ll just look at you with a messed up heart as you ask for forgiveness. If there’s something I’ve learned about that trip regarding this passage is that we can be confident under the wing of God’s love. We see a couple of parables regarding this (Lost sheep, and Prodigal Son) but this experience just made it real.

And on top of that, He reminded me how it felt like being a kid as I roam around the grounds of Disneyland seeing characters come alive right in front of you and the fireworks to end the night was just the perfect coup-de-grace of the whole experience…

I hope I made sense and I hope that like me we gain an inch closer in understanding the love God has for us.

We can do so much better

I just got home from my 1 week Hong Kong trip and what can i say, it was truly a different country. And i couldnt help but compare, and feel sorry for the Filipino people.

Pregunta... for how long can we stand dwelling in a place of complacency? Our international airport stinks of piss for crying out loud, our MRT terminals are being overwhelmed by vandals and people are allowed to spit anywhere...

To be honest, i believe that what i saw in HK can happen here if everyone who can do something will just put their weight together... and don't get me started with the ludicrous MMDA art... please... it's not even helping edsa to attain that metro gwapo campaign.

Their stations are kept clean, shiny floor tiles and basically no pentel pen drawings of the male genitalia, and their trains are packed with commuters too so we have no excuse about the quantity of the people that goes there.

You can't get lost in HK too... there are signs everywhere, and if you can just find your way to an MTR station... you're good as home.

The airport was awesome... it was friggin huge... and doesnt smell... at all...

all i want to say is that manila can do these things too... i think... yes i believe so.

but for what its worth... i still love manila.

Untitled

comforter of my heart
affirmer of my soul
i need you once more
after a troubled fall

a prayer in my heart
im afraid of what might start
i cant hold a guitar
nor sing in front of a crowd

a simple mistake
is all that it took
it gave birth to fear
within my heart where you look

comforter of my heart
affirmer of my soul
i need you right here
to wipe off my fear

its hard to hear a song
the one that took me long
o God feel that my heart is heavy
and i dont know when i'll be ready

i trust in your will
my God you are good
i trust in your ways
the way you put these things to shame

i come to you broken
like i have always been
i pray that you make me whole
o affirmer of my soul

o comforter of my heart
wipe these tears of dark
teach me how to worship
no attachments, set apart

everything i lift up to you
i fear that i might fall away
right now i'm not in my right mind
help me o God, let me stay blind

i remember what you did
i'll remember how you shaped me
molded me into this man
who runs to you after screwing up a band

o God my strength
help me up from the ground
i feel my every pound
pulling me down back to the ground

o comforter of my heart
o affirmer of my soul
my Lord and my God
let me know you more.

A Short Something For You

Your beauty draws me near
Your kindness keeps me clear
Your stories have kept me silent
You make me want more

My heart has been yearning
Something unseen yet greatly felt
One taste, now I'm wrecked
Your love made me love You

-------------------------------

something I wrote dated Feb 16, 2008.
I thought of adding some more... but reading it over and over again...
I can't help think that it's perfect the way it is...

Happy Easter!

Resurrection Sunday is a day to remember the life that we received after receiving the punishment that our Lord took for us on the cross.

It's a beautiful exchange, the Bible has poetic descriptions of exchanges like Beauty for Ashes and the most commonly used, Life for death. Two extreme opposites attained in less than a hundred hours. Thats where our transition from a dying breed to eternal beings, through Christ.

I constantly wonder and wander around searching for something to grasp, literally and sometimes theoretically. Something with meaning, something worth thinking about, and this sick cycle carousel (yes it's from a lifehouse song) that does nothing but go up and down and go round and round, we have fun, be merry for a couple of moments, and after spending time with friends we, well I, find myself seeking, searching and sadly... lacking.

Life can mean alot of things, and mostly we use it to describe a kind of living, hence we usually utter the statement "this is the life" when we're on vacation, lying on the shore and living in that moment. But then again, what happens when this particular moment is done and gone, then we're back to square one. Life, and living cannot be like this, there's gotta be something more than that. We're in a prison, and we don't know how to get out.

Now we usually say that the cross was designed to purge the sins from our past, present and future. But let's stop for a while and talk about sin, what is sin? Have we ever asked ourselves what sin actually is?

I used to think that sin is more of the obvious actions like murder, but I completely forgot that Adam just ate a fruit and got booted out of the garden. Now how can eating a fruit be sin? Eating itself is not the sin, but doing something that he'd been told not to do and did it anyway was sin.

Now what have we been told to do? The Bible simply told us to do two things, simple things like Love God, and love people. Now how hard could that be? And I look back, and I totally failed the first one, and failing the first one would just make me fail the second one. So I guess this is more of eating the fruit. And we didn't know that, we didn't have any clue whatsoever thats why I find these words so powerful and really... out of love, "Father, forgive them for they don't know what they do".

Anyway, I'm just running in circles here, but basically we're free from everything that we did, what we didn't know we did, and things that we have yet to do. These things died on the cross, sent to the grave along with our Savior and left there for good as our Savior rolled the stone and walked out in this glorious day, Easter Sunday. The day where redemption was made, the day where new lives were given.

Happy Easter everybody! God bless

and guess who enjoyed easter too

Shaq played for almost 36 minutes against the Rockets, scored 23 points, grabbed 13 rebounds shot 8-10 from the field and 7-9 from the line.

He really enjoys playing against the man who Philly got to defend the big guy when they faced the Lakers in the Finals years ago. Tough break Dikembe...

Phoenix won against Houston 122-113... thats 7 straight now... :D

I Am Legend

Topic: The inner struggle and how we’ve won.

Conflict: we we’re once sick, as sick as the zombies we’re in the movie. We’re sick of boredom, and that’s our cancer. We inject ourselves with cures that we find in the end that will consume us over time.

2Co 4:4 in whose case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelieving so that they might not see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.

The first problem presented here is our ignorance of our demise. We do not know that we’re dying and causing death to happen among others, because at first we do not have any clue whatsoever that sin would lead us to death. Second we don’t have any clue of who Jesus is, what the cross truly meant. We’re completely ignorant of everything that is happening around us.

We’re sinking deep, and we don’t even know it.

How do we know that we’re sick?

It is when our idea of happiness is shattered by a person that has a different pursuit of happiness, this is how we see how sick, and how blinded we are from the truth. We’re in too deep the waters and we don’t even know it, we’ll realize it when we see someone walk on water. And right there and then we’ll wonder how is that possible?

I can never forget that day that I finally gave Jesus a chance to reveal himself to me, when one of my friends, a close one, who was maybe a notch higher in worseness of deeds turn 180 degrees and suddenly find happiness in Christ. My mind was totally blown away, I was swept off my feet, and basically my idea of happiness was shattered. Then I concluded right there and then how screwed I was.

When these two idea’s clash, right there and then you see your heart awaken, and you can only tell if your heart is awakened by the amount of internal struggle you deal with. It is a process, one by one we take away what is being revealed to our hearts. We say no to each and everything that comes in our way, we may lose some of them but always remember that it is a process. This is where our confidence in His grace and faithfulness are put to test. (Phil 1:6)

It is important that we simply put everything behind. Because my friends, we cannot truly say that we’re enjoying Christ if we still look at our past and see it as the ‘glory days’ or the good old days… (Phil past, prize)

Resolution: The solution is not of our hands, in this scenario, if you don’t know you’re sick you cannot cure yourself. It takes someone to notice your disease to get you better. Our boredom and our sufferings has a cure. And that’s what we saw in the movie clip that we watched. There is light amidst the darkness that we live in. and the bible describes it in John 15:13 that states "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." And it continues to passing a legacy to us. What he did, on the cross, the sacrifice, the life that He has given to us is what He desires among other people as well. We can see it in the end of that chapter as Jesus states that we’re appointed to go and bear fruit-fruit that will last, then the Father will give us what we ask in His name, and love one another.

There’s a deeper parable that’s very dear in my heart in John 10:11-18 where Jesus describes and reveals Himself as the good shepherd who lays down His life for His sheep. He continues saying that the hired hand will run away when animosity arrives. And in the movie, the hero, Robert Neville, explained why he remained in NY. He saw it as ground zero, and he saw it as his primary responsibility not to leave the area until He finds the cure for the virus. And that’s what the good shepherd does, he lays down His life for His sheep. And again he left a legacy for us to follow. To bring other sheep that are not within His present pen towards Him.

This is what I’m saying, our lives will be the very proof of Christ’s very existence towards our families and friends. I know it’s hard to talk to them and explain every preaching, every message, every revelation that we have attained through out the years.

Like Robert, we can scream “I know how to cure you” all we want, but the thing is, they wont listen… they’ll only listen if they see someone who was like them gets it. Someone who’s so passionate about their pursuit that will encourage and inspire others that this is how it’s supposed to be. We don’t even have to speak, we just have to be in ground zero where everybody is.

Jesus wants us to have life, and live life to the fullest. And the only way we can enjoy it, is through Him.

Marcogol's Gadget Watch

COMING SOON

Got Myself Twins Instead

So I gave up deciding whether to get the iPod touch or the iPod classic, and instead of getting one expensive gadget, Brian gave me another option and I got it without even thinking twice...

So my Creative Zen Stone can enjoy a longer tenure inside my pockets, because... I got these...

I used to hate this guy... because he's just a year older than me and he's already playing like a king.
He's my 2nd pick overall in this years fantasy draft... And looks like I'll be in the playoffs this season.
and now I just got his kicks.
Feet... say hello to the new Nike Air Zoom Soldier.

#23 for my 23rd (i know it's been 7 days... so shush)

The iPod Touch that eluded me

Yesterday I came to my senses and offered to treat myself with a toy. Something that every music lover would love in their pockets. Yesterday I told myself, I'm getting an iPod touch.

A friend of mine left his in my car, and I did what every human being would do, use it, without permission. I loaded him some of my songs, and I fell in love with its interface and its wonderful browsing. The iPod touch is pretty, cute, and looks like a typical high school cheerleader we see in high school tv series or flicks, but the browser... the browser makes you see that she's a lab rat aswell. Excelling in math and science... I'm on a mission, and I'm gonna make her mine.

So I went on to do a canvass, and my goodness... like how every guy does his binge shopping I went on to agree with the first store that he enters. The deals were, for the 8gb touch, it's 1,250/month for 12 months, for the 16gb touch it'll be 1,666/month for 12 months, for the 32gb touch, I didn't even bother to look, I was sold to the 16gb. These deals were 0% interest and I told myself... whoop-di-friggin-do!!

Well I told my dad sunday morning, and from the get go it seemed to me that he'll go for me. But long story short, my dad iPod blocked me, and gave me until the 31st to decide...

8gb... or 16gb, this is the decision that's revolving around my thoughts right now, on top of the smooth touch screen interface, the touchy touchy awesome safari browser capability, and of course the easy song selection. There's one word to describe all of these things... Sold.

Happy birthday to me... too bad for my budget... hah!

The Edge Of Twenty Two

Exactly an hour from now will be the day I add 1 to my age. It's scary to some, and I know It's a little petty to most.

What can I say, I'm excited and somehow scared. It's been a fun ride, and there's more to expect as you reach the edge of 22. Time just keeps on ticking and sooner or later, I might right something about the dawn of 24.

It's been fun so far, I'm having fun with where I am, but somehow a little frustrated because of reasons that I don't need to write here. I'll just keep on doing what I do until everything breaks loose. Somehow, and in someway I know it will.

Enough about that, what about the 23rd. I'm going to hit my 2nd year of professional life aswell, and I'm starting to budget every cent that I spend from now on. I guess reality will hit you as you recognize that you're far from being 18. It may be fun being young, but it will never hurt leaving that area. You'll just see responsibilities pile up as you add 1 to the total count of you age year after year. I don't know, can't explain but I guess it's all relative and theres nothing I can really do about it. What's better is that Iron Man, Hulk and alot lot more will be showing in the theaters this year so WooHoo!...

So far everything's good, and I guess I should start to act and recognize my age and start accepting the responsibilities that comes along with it.

There, I guess there's nothing much to contemplate when you just start to recognize everything that I said above. There's nothing left to do but write down my goals before hitting 24, and try to achieve them. And that's it as time keeps on pushing me towards the edge of 22... a few more minutes... hang on.

2-22

i toss and turn
bothered by my demise
delight has clearly robbed me of my prize

i thought i could handle it
i thought i could stand
how could i run away from the one who holds my hand

i have to get up
i have to make a stand
i can never let myself go from my fathers hand

i toss and turn
still thinking about the love i consistently learn
always there to steer me away from a bad turn

somehow i wonder, my father
why do you let me go
knowing that my heart will crumble each time i fall

wounded and shattered,
battered when i falter
hopeless in walking, i'll just crawl to my father

how far would you let me be?
i'm desperate for serenity
knowing you, that's how i need thee

my knees bleed
my palms caloused and filled with dirt
when will i come home and wear you son's shirt

i've gone far enough, i know
4 days enough to let these sorrows show
still wrecked to know what a sacrifice i'm worth

everything you've left behind
just to get me back, and only to find
a crippling love that will always remind

no matter the distance i've gone
in your heart, in your arms
there's home that i'll always find.

I Hope I'm Wrong

"a sight that I wish that I won't see this season"

Today, I woke up hoping that the Suns wouldn't do the drastic change I saw yesterday in the news But then again this image turned up as I went to Y!Sports, and I couldn't agree more with what the front page said. Style Senseless...

So what will happen when you plug in the Diesel with the Formula 1 like offense of the Suns? As of now I can't wrap my head with it. I hope they all know what they're doing, and I pray that I'd have my foot in my mouth by the end of the season.

Well Kerr... All eyes on you now. You could be known in Phoenix as a genius, or someone that will be remembered as the guy who ruined the offense that everybody is envious of. Kerr will definitely feel the Heat in Arizona this year.

On the bright side, Marion won't play for the Suns today (i think) and that's one less player against me this fantasy week... Whew! I'm so sorry Simon. This trade surely hurts both of us.

image from www.nba.com