Prayer

one night I prayed
for everything to be layed
that if it's not for me
would He just let it be

I could only take so much
It's already hard without her touch
I thought things would pick up a notch
only to be brought down as such

That night I prayed
the next day things were said
I thought there's something there
it felt good, I layed it all bare

Impatient, maybe
But things were needed to be
So that you and I could see
That, I truly love thee

But now I think I understand
where both of us chose to stand
we're not on the same land
our hearts, yours and mine can't seem to blend

I just have to make peace with reality
For there's nothing more to wait and see
Now I'll just have to pray for thee
Like me, I would like you to be free

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While checking my notebook of drafts and unfinished poems, I happen to pass by this particular one, re-read it and checked it out.

I'm usually a fan of my own work, but a bit meh on the 2nd to the last stanza. But whatever haha... At least it got it's own resolve.

Hope you like it!

-MDJ

Memories

Suddenly I remember Trigonometry
when our hands first locked in symmetry
beside each other we silently sat
and on my hands were yours laid flat

Closer

Distance sings a song
it goes with a tune that I can't belong
Pain now hums along a tune
My name along with the casualties it prunes

Why should I sit and stare
Along the vast sky with blinding glare
I still hold what tomorrow would bring
Chin up, stand up, a new song to sing

I know someday, this will all be over
For the distance that now beholds her
On that day when I come over
We'll be closer, we'll be closer

These words I heard over a song
Gives me hope where I could belong
I changed a bit to make it mine
and in time, your hand in mine

I don't know what else to think
your image pops out everytime I blink
and right now I know both are far to link
but then there's still these ideas to sink

that someday, this will all be over
that distance will no longer hold her
for one day I'll come over
finally, we'll be closer

Can we start over?
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Some lines inspired from The Fray's song Syndicate.

I Dream My Love

should i dare dream
think more of what may seem
or just walk out of it
wait for that someone i'd meet

I'm hurt, i'm fine
in every song it's you i find
you know i'd want to stop
dream's too nice to flop

why wouldn't you let it happen?
or would you want me to start nappin
just to see and hold you
and you know in my heart there's nothing new

and now it's painful to dream
because of what may seem
and i have nothing to hold
since even in my sleep my emotions unfold

such pain to deal for such time
how they tell me loving you is a crime
when i know hope is grim
you know me, i'll still dream

why wouldn't it just happen
a sudden twist in fate for images to sharpen
my wish to be right next to you
you'll know my heart holds nothing new

and with a few i've flown and known
none like how you've got me blown
time i'll never get back
moments i'll always look back

why wouldn't it just happen
to finally see birds up high flapping
beside you, i'd give anything
or would you just want me to start nappin.

why wouldn't it just happen.

For My Mom

Yesterday in church, they asked me to say something for my mom since it's mothers day.
So for my mom I wrote this...

So here's one to my mom
My only girl while I still have none
To the woman who carried me in her tummy
To the woman who took care of me when my nose was runny
To the woman who makes my day bright and sunny
when I wake up to something yummy
To the reason why I have this big tummy
thought I'd just say that to sound funny
And before I start to sound corny
I just wanna say...
I love you mommy.

Happy Mothers Day.

I also wrote this with crayons heh

Candle Light

tried to write something with what i see during the 1 hour brownout at home.

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Desperate for light
as I'm embraced by the dark night
All i have is this diminishing candle
a few more hours is all that it could handle

Yet it flickers with all its might
giving all it can to shed its light
and accompany me tonight

this room is almost lit
a little candle, short but fit
enough to warm me up with its heat

and now the little candle is almost gone
it took me awhile to write this along
now back to the darkness my eyes belong

Untitled

comforter of my heart
affirmer of my soul
i need you once more
after a troubled fall

a prayer in my heart
im afraid of what might start
i cant hold a guitar
nor sing in front of a crowd

a simple mistake
is all that it took
it gave birth to fear
within my heart where you look

comforter of my heart
affirmer of my soul
i need you right here
to wipe off my fear

its hard to hear a song
the one that took me long
o God feel that my heart is heavy
and i dont know when i'll be ready

i trust in your will
my God you are good
i trust in your ways
the way you put these things to shame

i come to you broken
like i have always been
i pray that you make me whole
o affirmer of my soul

o comforter of my heart
wipe these tears of dark
teach me how to worship
no attachments, set apart

everything i lift up to you
i fear that i might fall away
right now i'm not in my right mind
help me o God, let me stay blind

i remember what you did
i'll remember how you shaped me
molded me into this man
who runs to you after screwing up a band

o God my strength
help me up from the ground
i feel my every pound
pulling me down back to the ground

o comforter of my heart
o affirmer of my soul
my Lord and my God
let me know you more.

A Short Something For You

Your beauty draws me near
Your kindness keeps me clear
Your stories have kept me silent
You make me want more

My heart has been yearning
Something unseen yet greatly felt
One taste, now I'm wrecked
Your love made me love You

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something I wrote dated Feb 16, 2008.
I thought of adding some more... but reading it over and over again...
I can't help think that it's perfect the way it is...

Damn You Love

damn you with your everything
the way you know all the triggers
the way you unconsciously hit the things that hurts

damn the way you make my life miserable
damn the same way you give me hope
hope that you're real and i know you

i simply hate the fact that you are
and knowing i cant reach the place where you are
why couldnt you just live in dreams

i simply hate the fact that you dont care
and as much as you dont, i just do
i give so much that i simply do

i hate the fact that i cant see you where you are
i hope that someway somehow i'd do
build something up and start from there

i hate everything about it
and you give every reason why
enumerate everything and we'll soon find out

just the fact that youre there where im not
to the little things that would never tie a knot
im diving into insanity, when its you i think about

youre free, im entangled
by everything that you just pose out
its been long, and i can wait for more

ask me if do i even love something about you?
i'll tell you that i really hate everything about this
simply because i very much love everything that is you.

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just by reading this piece again, i realize that it's not really that original, reminds me of that poem julia stiles did in '10 things i hate about you'. but now i just feel the irony of that poem... and it does suck heh

Jamming At The Front

A Tribute to the old gang back at home...
-----------------------------------------

old days goes back
those times young and free
now bounded with distance
responsibilities and time

that which we didnt have
didnt care about since its there
now we seek that of was lost
to that, raise it up, lets toast

porches and garages
thats where we met and played
us friends, bonded more like brothers
when could we jam once more?

we laughed and never cried
had stiches and petty fights
pretty soon we'll unite
to relive those days of old

with a guitar on hand
music on our hearts
reminisce old times
once more, we'll jam at the front

I Told You So

I tried not to write
harder than I tried not to think
should it be remembered?
it shouldnt be even brought up to awaken

this monster, this emotion
needs to be taken through coercion
soon it will birth uncontrollable notions
this monster, this emotion

how soon was back then
how soon will it blacken
to be buried deep within my hearts depths
I told you that its better, behind we left

I couldnt bury the hatchet
of that one close to something
a start that everyone would imagine
surprises just took its toll

No regrets they told me to do
It was a good memory, indeed it was too
time now plays his cruel identity
constantly hits me that its never were

I tried not to write
harder than I tried not to think
knowing that its going to be hard to get rid
weak as I am, alas, I did...

Free

nothing to write,
yet my emotions scream
how could it show
when the sunlight melts this snow
a cold notion
theres no motion
seems that something was placed in that drink
a love potion
it wreaks my emotions
blank mind
oblivious thoughts
ridiculous ideas
why ponder something so simple
my arms are empty
nothing, not even a pimple
i write so i would free my mind
clear my chest, and wash my hands
to start anew
funny, i still think of you
I pray for this to be taken away
a human emotion, not fit for lonliness
placed in weak hands,
my heart you stole
one night, one smile
a cold notion
sets ablaze these emotions
it runs around freely
it ruins my mind secretly
let me be, let it be
ridiculous thoughts,
they cloud my attraction
so why can i just fill it up
they roam, my eyes they roam
notices everything, im free
one night, one smile
a cold night
...

now i can smile

Up From The Get Go

Could I be up from the get go?
From that point where I start to let go
Thoughts shared from his average joe
just stating his mind, thats all I know

Reality bites, thats one reality check
nothings more real than this slap on my cheek
and even with this pain, this heart is meek
It still beats, so hard it freaks

Will I ever be up from the get go?
but which one, to you, you or that someone you know
He breathes, she breathes
Help me fight this one, help me let go

a long deep sigh, a long deep thought
will never refrain myself from being taught
how could this happen, how could you have wroth
this pain I feel,that one you brought

and as I find a way to end this piece
so that i can retreat to my sheets, and sleep in peace
i'll start on my knees, and not beg you please
knowing that you're smiling will just put me at ease

Say Hello To Me

How does it feel
To hear your untold thoughts on the radio
How does it feel
Getting ready for the rain that won't come
Isn't it frustrating
Just to reach for the unreachable
But you still try
To rise up and reach for the sky
Even if it drags you to hit the ground
Get hurt and cry
Isn't it frustrating
Just to know that you're unable
But you still try
How does it feel
To have your palms dry, empty and alone
As you sing new love songs
Slow sad emotions that flutter
Singing along these tears
That now resides in fear
How does it truly feel...
To be me...

The Piercing Mirror

So hard to understand this mans heart
his emotions, feelings and hurts
Pains and tears of sorrow
That'll soon turn to be fears for tomorrow
without reason, nor the season
To even put this man in prison

Emotions just hurts and screams louder
Suddenly this man seems subjectible to anger
Confused on where He is
Confused on where he should be

Empty, weak and without knowledge
And to the strong he pays homage
To redeem a heart thats left for rummage
Suffrage for himself
A right given to have a fight
On what seems lost, for a fools sake
And in this post the point is just missed
apology for the one who gets bothered
and throttled by my foolishness

I'll have to wait from now one
Wait for the best among them
For sure It'll come
In completion...
this piercing mirror will gain your reflection

Once more a Wandering Dreamer

The day turns to me as it runs slow
And as I look outside where the cold winds blow
My eyes begins to fight against me
My heart, empty, in gloom it blooms

Frustrations sink below
As I once dreamt of being betrothed
The songs sang by the throngs
As they rush to see deceptions
Traditions of the garters and flowers
Of smiles in faces
As one and one becomes two

I sulked and sought for that moment to be
A bit scared and nervous
It's forever before me
And as the day starts to run slow
I looked outside where the cold winds blow
Once more became that wandering dreamer

Through Your Eyes

How do I look from there
From top to bottom, how's my hair?
Salad on my teeth?
Have I said alot or am I just noise/

How am I through your eyes?
Spick and span, do I even appear nice?
Or is that goof you're with
Just that someone through your eyes

Am I too laxed?
Why do I even ask
What is it that you want?
Do I even pass as someone to rant?

How am I through your eyes?
Or did I just eat too much rice?
My goodness, look at that width
Is that who I am through your eyes?

I don't see those sparkles when we talk
nor feel your hands when we walk
Is it just me or do I think alot?
Uptight, stiff and someone I'm not?
I maybe sick of these lies
Will I be someone through your eyes?

How am I through those eyes?
tell me about your sugar and spice
and brush this uncomfortable mist
and lets talk about your eyes...
just your eyes

How am I through your eyes
could we quit playing these lies
Notice this one that beats
Try to hear them, and pass through your eyes...

Now that...
that would be nice...

Think About Tomrrow

In idle times where my mind is filled with boredom
I could just fiddle with my thoughts
right now as its full of stories and romance
hold my hand and lets start to dance

How do you like looking through tomorrow
and escape todays tormenting sorrows
lets just start with my bank account
that will soon pay for our own house
where we do our chores together
hand in hand catching that mouse

How about that porch we both dreamt of
what about torching a steak on a Sunday noon
while hammering our picket fence and planting flowers to cover dunes
think about those rooms we design
there are 2 bedrooms and 1 single floor
now I can't stop thinking of one blue door
a small bed and toys scattered on the floor

Just think about tomorrow
I can ask my mom to teach me to fix an Alfredo
Just promise me you'll name our dog poncho
raise a son that'll fulfill his fathers dreams
dreams like learning to play the guitar and someone that could sing

and soon... pretty soon we'll be sixty
How I can't wait to love you and get misty
like now when I see you, my hands get flinchy
I can't hold my breath too long
my lips are itchy

How I can just think about tomorrow
Now its time for me to face the tormenting sorrows
So much for that moment I borrowed
Since you're gone how can I make this moment follow...

A Sorrowful Bliss Called Yesterday

I held back my tears
As she suddenly came
Into my mind
She took my time

It damped my eyes
As she came to such surprise
She couldve taken my demise
If only I can turn back time

Traced through my cheeks
As the clock reaches 6
I'd do my usual deed
I pack up, get up and go

I tried to hold back
It damped my eyes
traced my cheeks
next thing you know it touched my lips

A blotch, messed up this paper
A perfectly good paper
wreaked by emotions
By a visit from a sorrowful blissful yesterday

Split Screen Romance

This one can make my heart beat
This one can draw me a smile
This one can make me wait a while
This one can make me run the Nile
im telling you that this one is worth the wait
even if it will take me 10 years, and cling on fate
This one can remove my sleep dust
that comfort made to rust
This one can put back that trust
This one, no one else
This one was the one i prayed for
This one, night and day until 4
When could i carry her through that door
This one is a wish that will come true
Have i given alot of clues?
that she’s the one that took my blues
This one i wish to spend forever
Sickness and health, to love so tender
This one i will be jealous on
When she doesnt answer my call
it sets a period on the statement
I know she’ll never be my own
This one ill love too much i know
Will i ever see her tomorrow
so that i could wipe my own sorrow
This one will take my heart
Thats why i ask before it even starts
My Lord, Lover and God… Set me apart.