Is your God too small?

Is our God too small?

“Christian minds have been conformed to the modern spirit: the spirit… that spawns great thoughts of man and leaves room for only small thoughts of God.” – J.I. Packer

We are so used to human thinking and that thinking limits us of our picture of God. And with that image of God in our hearts, even His abilities are limited based on our beliefs. The problem here, when we get drunk and engulfed by our limited human thinking, if this is so… then it’s gets hard to love the magnificence of God for who He is. The uncreated, self sustaining creator who has burning passion for us, and instead of this we run towards our human idols that doesn’t run near to comparison to who God is. We think that other human beings can complete us, this is what I think that’s being spawned on our minds when we think of other men to complete us, instead of running towards a God who can definitely make us whole. We have lost the fear of the Lord, we are so full of ourselves that we even forget to tremble when the Lord is upon us. We get blind and deaf in the spirit. We couldn’t discern His presence and with that said, I’m afraid that because of that, we won’t feel the forgiveness of God. Everything else that we know about God is downsized, this is why we don’t experience God for who He truly is.

I believe from there, from a small view of God everything will go haywire in terms of our spiritual hunger. How will we hunger for who God is when you see him in a fun size, its as if we can’t take the Bible seriously anymore because like what Mike Bickle says in his book (Passion For Jesus), “He is only a little more than an elected official-not to be taken seriously.” It’s like being an adult being lectured by a young man… somehow pride would really take a stand here, we can’t react as to what a book says about our situations and decisions. I believe this is the place where passivity and compromise comes from.

Like who I was before, I was a wee bit skeptical on the idea of having a God. Basically all I know about Him was through the school system and the usual Sunday services where I was forcefully brought each week. Simple formula, no knowledge, no experience/encounters = no interest. And only one thing can turn this equation upside down… an experience/encounter would lead to interest and instantly a hunger for the knowledge of God would be birthed within us.

“Compromise and passivity will be solved as the Lord allows us to gaze upon Him with deeper insight into His personal beauty and glory.” –Mike Bickle, Passion For Jesus

The elements of a miserable Christian life is when we can feel our hearts crying out for God, and yet we still submit to the pleasures of our flesh, we feed the struggle that we usually complain about instead of going all out running towards God or going all out running away from God. Either way I believe that’s how we make our lives a little easier. A choice will really have to be made, its either we run towards Him or run away from Him, there’s no middle line.

But in reality, there shouldn’t be a choice, why do we choose to run away from God? Again, it is because of our limited thinking that’s limiting God of what He can do and what He can give us. With a small knowledge of God we tend to create a “what we think” a greater god, than God. This is where we fashion our own golden bulls. Don’t get me wrong, I fashioned one myself before. I believe that the golden bull is a manifestation of our cry for satisfaction. We want to get satisfied, we want to fill the void that only God can fill up, so we dive into creating something that we think that will get us to the end of the line. And this compromise, again, only results if we’re bored and lacking a personal and deep relationship with God where we can experience and encounter what He can do, and what His promises (there’s a lot in the Bible) are.

If you’re living in compromise, and is struggling to get out of it… there’s only one way to climb away from that pit, we need to delete whatever images we have of God before and start from scratch. The deeper we dwell into seeking His full attributes, the more mind blowing His revelations is of Him and us. And there’s no end to these things, as we reach a depth the deeper He’ll bring us to reveal more of His majesty.

Now ask yourself… is your God too small?

On what transpired yesterday, curfew, and a perfect display of idiocracy

It's not funny anymore. The theatrics that these clowns continue to display just to get seen by the people that they're doing something is not fun anymore, guys maybe it's time for a call for these people to grow up.

I admire their call for reform and everything, don't get me wrong I am definitely in for those things, God bless you for doing that, but come on, for crying out loud, given already the chance to have some say in the political arena, elected to orchestrate some change within the administration and now what... Kids show up in a grown man's body. For crying out loud... you probably have just made things worse. I believe that there is a more mature way of delivering these changes that all of us want. Yes, the Filipino people are tired of corruption and all these jazz, but I guess the Filipino people are also tired of these attempts that disturbs the peace around the country... congratulations, you just forced them to implement a 12:00am - 5:00am curfew around the metro. Well done, well done...

A little wrap up of what transpired yesterday, Sen. Trilianes IV and company we're attending a hearing of their past Coup (Oakwood Mutiny) attempt and years after surrendering to the authorities and spending time in jail, this is what they have in mind... Walk out, and take over another hotel... Kids, the lesson here is that in order for us to counter a Coup trial... is to orchestrate another event thats somehow very similar to what they did before... like uhmm, needless to say, another Coup. And these events gave me another reason to have my sights stuck watching news, and guess what I saw, I saw a feed of the Magdalo group walking out of the Makati RTC en route to Manila Pen, and to my surprise, expecting a serious face from these guys, I saw our former Vice President smiling... and its not even that kind of smile that you take seriously... It was a "Hey, I'm orchestrating a prank" type of smile. Now tell me can you take these guys seriously? obviously their call for the people to get out of their seats and follow them in Makati didn't. Another job well done, you just disturbed the whole business district of Makati, ruined the day of those who we're staying in this fine hotel and raised alot of eyebrows.

I believe that what they say is true... this march wasn't planned... and backtracking at yesterdays events... I found it so evident that these things don't fall into the "planning" category. And if they did, well there's one thing I'm sure of, I won't hire these guys to plan a surprise party with me, they know how to spoil a day perfectly. It was done without class... wait I take that one back, they checked in a fine hotel... The world is laughing at us again, yesterday was appalling and just shows what kind of clowns we have in our country... it was a perfect display of idiocracy.

and oh... another job well done for destroying one fine hotel... *clap clap clap*

Friday Bloody Friday

I woke up this morning not expecting this to happen to our usual lunch getaway.

Today, October 19, 2007, around 1:30 pm, Glorietta 2 became the latest victim of what could be an act of terrorism. Because I doubt that with an explosion with this intensity was caused by an LPG tank.

And now I find myself stuck in front of the television set watching news. I never found myself watching news for more than 10 minutes, but this time it's different. I could've been there, good thing our Glorietta trip that day was called off because others had something in their mind.

My prayers go out to the families affected by this tragedy, and strength to those who risk their time and lives to rescue the people that was there when the bombing happened.

And I guess we just lost one starbucks in that area.

And this just in... PNP is not ruling out an LPG explosion... oh... my... goodness... take a look at the devastation please, i dont think a liquified petrolium gas tank could've caused something like that. This is something else guys... eyes open.

photo from www.Inq7.net

... I know you can heal,
I just don't want to see you hurt...

just heard it somewhere, and somehow i wanted to be that kind of a hero... so that i can say this to you... but i'm not... the best thing that i can do is to share with you the very thing why i'm happy everytime... so that you can be that person that you wanted yourself to be aswell... that kind of person i friggin fell in love with.

now can you just come here so that i can say it to you face to face...

Chuck Norris Legend Of The Week

I know its a little old, but all of it is fun. I don't know about the history of these legends... but all i know is that before History was ever made... Chuck Norris was...

And the Chuck Norris Legend for today is...

When Chuck Norris spits watermelon seeds... He puts the machine gun to shame...

Theories

Acquired Taste refers to an appreciation of a thing that is unlikely to be enjoyed by a person who had not enjoyed a substantial amout of exposure from it...

enough said...

Heads Up!

Heads up... 5 day work week coming...

even now, I miss missing mondays, we should include mondays as a part of the weekend. In that case, the week is shorter, and we usually lose the echo that we hear in the monday vacuum. You know... the "*sigh* its monday already" kind of vacuum. it sucks the energy that you kind of restored over the weekend, and its far off from saturday.

lose the mondays!

Wednesday, 6:30 pm

I'm just sitting here in the office, wondering what I should blog about. Since, I've done my one chapter of learning today, might aswell save the kids with some of my knowledge.

There are only two things that is needed to be done when you find yourself in an odd situation by pissing someone off unintentionaly.

Apologizing and Waiting for forgiveness.

these are the only things that we should do when we find ourselves in that situation. Let's just face the facts that we're wrong and the other party didnt like what we did. Pride has no room in this situation, and neither does self pity. The deed is done, we just need to contemplate about what was done and never to repeat it again. I think that there's no room for justification our wrong doings aswell, we should never place blames on people but accept the responsibility for acting like that. Once we find ourselves justifying the actions, then I dont think that you're really in an apologizing mood, you're just looking for holes that would point something wrong on the other person. Hurt feelings are hurt feelings, whether we like it or not, whether it was a grave insult or a mild joke, something wrong happened.

Reconciliation is another thing, once those two things are done, we should also accept that this is no fairy tale chick flick that would send butterflies floating to give you a signal to go after the other person. Saying sorry is enough, once you said that, I think you already made your point. There's going to be some awkward times here so brace yourself...

Holiday Dreaming In August

It just so happened that Coldplay's "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" and we all wondered about how close the holiday season would be. I cant help but think about the cold breeze that sweeps the city's streets filled with big stars and colorful lights, and you'll notice numerous bazaars that would appear from almost all the corners of the town, the carolers that you seem to miss doing, but sometimes irritating to witness (i know, how cruel). Then comes the christmas parties for almost all of the organizations that you're included in, and as I dream about all these stuff, pretty soon it'll be september, we'll soon hear christmas songs play on the radio... *sigh* 4 more months...

Soundtrack: Coldplay - Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, 2000 Miles, Dave Matthews Band - Christmas Song

So Impossible

I hide in making myself believe that somehow everything would merge the way we would want to as long as we put our whole self into it. And right there and then you find yourself contradicting your own convictions when you tell yourself... really?

And when we're filled with emotions, we rush to get that pen and paper, just as we go through with pictures... we want to take hold of that memory... for some certain reasons, these memories are so hard to brush aside... maybe its like what you said, you're the only link of hapiness that i have, that maybe right... or its just because happy is with you... contradictions that makes your mind wonder...

now may i ask you, what are you thinking right now? it may be food... school... career... friends and families... anything... i just want to know...

mine goes... "or maybe we will... but how, everything points to --dont even think about it--... and why wouldnt i? one reason that i do... is because its there"

like that dashboard song goes...

Do you like dreaming of things so impossible...

When Its Rains, Its Fours...

Dismissed from work as early as 3pm, with a busted video card at home, I'm now thinking what could I do to waste time...

Finished alot of stuff today, hoping that i couldve solved a couple of bugs... with that said, its a good day... missed you still...

Side note: the revo parked outside got a free parking today, the makati traffic dudes didnt get the chance to ask for the payment... lucky guy...

Soundtrack: Grace Is Gone - Dave Matthews Band, Fix You - Coldplay, Signal Fire - Snow Patrol.

No... Oh... Please... No

Well thats the video card that i saw when i got home... still hot, smells like teen spirit, and basically broken. DAMN IT!

The Dutch Invasion @ Santiago Bernabeu

Two of the promised 3 signings for Real Madrid has landed. Dutch prodigy Royston Drenthe and Ajax standout Wesley Sneidjer has finally landed to lend a hand to bring the 31st back next season.

The dutchmen are the fifth and sixth signing for Real Madrid after the Capello Regime that brought them the 30th title for Real Madrid. The new kids on the block was unveiled one by one after Real Madrid confirmed Fabio Capello's replacement, Bernd Schuster.

Centerbacks Cristof Metzelder, and Pepe, Forward and former Barcelona man Javier Saviola, and the veteran keeper Jerzy Dudek, and now the new jewels for Schuster in the midfield, Drenthe and Sneidjer has arrived to help Raul and company out to bag this year as well.

We now await for the final piece to arrive... *cough* Robben *cough*
Good day, and Hala Madrid!

Tuesday

first of all... happy birthday marsh!

Well just got myself a laptop for my own, so i'm mobile now hehe... Marco is coming to Starbucks' near you. Just got my first hands on deployment with our client today and damnit... when pressure sinks in to your finger tips, the blood goes there aswell... and then i was pale. I never really knew what happened there, but my colleagues sure did some bullying when they saw the left and the right eyebrows meet. The east and west might not meet, but surely the left and the right eyebrow can.

It was a good day, did everything (almost) that needs to be done, and i rewarded myself with Krispy Kreme. By the way try the one with the hersheys toppings... its friggin guilty-licious.
Note: if you're on a diet, forget that i even said anything... runaway from Krispy Kreme... ;)

Well I got the ball back... well played bebang hehehe ;) but like i said, as of now... i really don't want to lose this feeling, i just love loving you... Yikkeeeee... and unlike what i was feeling with the other one before (i really wanted something back) this time, i'm fine with the one way interaction hehe, but still hoping... still hoping...

overall... T'was a good day...

soundtrack: The Space Between - Dave Matthews Band, Before Its Too Late - Goo Goo Dolls, Swallowed In The Sea - Coldplay

Finally... Your Ball

So it's finally out, odd as it may be, i have finally let the truth out. I wanted it to be worthwhile, something special to be remembered, but what the hell... my heart will never stop throbbing like crazy everytime i catch you online, or whenever i receive replies from you for the poems that i have posted about you. So maybe now i'd just stop wondering what could have happened, i'd just leave it behind. now its just today and so forth... after all these years of circling and playing around... i finally gathered enough courage to tell you that i love you still...

the stage is set...
2nd quarter into the game
time is not yet of the essence
a deep breath before i step into the court
the play has been given...
everybody's waiting...
i just dealt mine...

your ball...

Damn You Love

damn you with your everything
the way you know all the triggers
the way you unconsciously hit the things that hurts

damn the way you make my life miserable
damn the same way you give me hope
hope that you're real and i know you

i simply hate the fact that you are
and knowing i cant reach the place where you are
why couldnt you just live in dreams

i simply hate the fact that you dont care
and as much as you dont, i just do
i give so much that i simply do

i hate the fact that i cant see you where you are
i hope that someway somehow i'd do
build something up and start from there

i hate everything about it
and you give every reason why
enumerate everything and we'll soon find out

just the fact that youre there where im not
to the little things that would never tie a knot
im diving into insanity, when its you i think about

youre free, im entangled
by everything that you just pose out
its been long, and i can wait for more

ask me if do i even love something about you?
i'll tell you that i really hate everything about this
simply because i very much love everything that is you.

-----------------------------------------------------------
just by reading this piece again, i realize that it's not really that original, reminds me of that poem julia stiles did in '10 things i hate about you'. but now i just feel the irony of that poem... and it does suck heh

Memo To Self

Its 3:42, rain doesn't stop from falling outside, a mug of cold water on my hand and a thought on my head. How do you turn a slow day like this to something exciting.

Memo to self: Nothing can ever turn a slow day exciting. If you feel that the day starts to turn slow... run away, save your life... nothing can be done... its a monster that feeds on every desk lemming...

so I tried drinking this day off with water refilling. Whats that you say, its when you refill your mug with water and have the usual water dispenser gossip in the office pantry, drink it when you get back to your desk while reading a couple of articles, after your bladder gets enough water it will send a signal to your brain to visit the comfort room, you take a wiss. Did a couple more of those, and I checked the clock it's just 3:49.

...damn...

so here's a tip... when the day starts to go slow... save yourself the trouble of finding out if you can ever get out of it... run away...

Prayer

What is prayer? For me it’s really a way to tap into God’s heart, this is a mean of feeling how The Great One truly feels about us. This is how I feel comfort, calmness in the midst of troubles. This is the time where I can hear what the Holy Spirit tells me to do, and trust me, sometimes The Spirit can also tell me what’s about to happen to me, but this is a different story. Prayer can be silence for a long period of time, and still it feels like you’re screaming for more silence as the inner man tries to commune with God. Before I always admire how the psalmist assemble words of passion about God, but when you come within that place where God’s feelings and yours meet, silence can truly mean a lot of words. No words can be uttered, and sometimes I feel that He’s just hushing me, placing His finger on my lips and just telling me to enjoy Him, and after experiencing these, I wanted more, I’m ruined and changing slowly. My passion for prayer goes hand in hand with my Christian day-to-day walk. Before I was compelled to do these things, but more of my own will and strength, everything has to be done to satisfy the “Christian” title. Little did I know that the root of all the actions points to the time you spend with the one we choose to mirror, our own secret time with Jesus. I have always admired preachers, and worship leaders, I have always admired their knowledge and their passion for such things, and I wanted that joy, I wanted that satisfaction that they get when they do what the spirit tells them. I see it in the people we always see on TV, I read them on books and articles over the net. I admire the words that the singers sing, and I wanted that as well, thinking that these things would please God, ministry. I never gave prayer a chance seeing that I’m already doing these stuff, and sometimes asking for the Lord to give me some slack because I’m already doing these stuff, the stuff that makes my teeth grind when I do it, or think about doing it. And I wonder, how do these guys do it? How could the preachers speak with so much confidence and ease, how could singers arrange songs as if they read lyrics carved out from God’s heart, and little did I know that a lot can be birthed from the quiet time that I despised back then. This is where I started to ask for encounter in prayer. At first it was the wordy prayer, everything that came into my mind was the words that came out of my heart, and I started to notice, these are the same words that I speak night in and night out. I got bored, I got bummed with prayer that I just went from 5 minutes tops, to “Thank you for this day, thank you for bringing me home safe, Amen”. Then I started to let my heart do the talking. There was a night when I felt the Holy Spirit tell me of what’s going to happen. I really saw it flash on my head before I made the decision to surf the net, and I brushed it aside feeling that I’m not that weak to fall into lust again. But then I did, and I did exactly what was warned beforehand. Right there and then, my heart screamed and asked for forgiveness. No words but sorry and long moments of silence and through those moments of silence are where I really felt forgiveness and love. No words were uttered but still it was like the Lord was answering everything that my heart was asking. It felt like I’m hearing my heart and the Lord having a sweet and deep conversation about me. And so I asked is this how prayer should be done? Am I really reaching out to you and having a conversation in the heart level? No words were spoken that night, but something changed within me. A burning passion of tapping into that place again, a hunger for God’s heart beat a hunger for that comfort even on times of guilt, there truly is no condemnation in Christ, there is truly delight in his presence, and that is where my passion for prayer ignited. Knowing God in a heart level and feel his kindness for a sinner like me, strengthened me and made me see the cross for what it truly is, a way back to God’s arms, and deeper, his heart. I never really knew God for who he really is. Now the words that are written in the Bible lives compared to the literature that I saw before. And I believe that you can only have that satisfaction that we see in a preachers face as he/she delivers the word of God, and how the song writers arrange such beautiful and inspired words that they sing is when God is REAL within us. And the reality of God can only be attained if we believe that He is, and that belief can be sparked by an encounter through prayer.

Boston Celtics: And The Fellowship Of The Ring

In what seems like a done deal for the Celtics, and the Wolves, that sends KG on a one way trip to Emerald City, and sends promising youngsters Gerald Green, Al Jefferson, Sebastian Telfair, and aging veteran, Theo Ratliff reunited with past-Celts, Ricky Davis and Mark Blount. This could be the end of a busy summer for Danny Ainge and the Celtics organization, and a start of a promising off-season for Celtic original Paul Pierce who was rumored to leave Boston earlier this summer.

The arrival of Ray Allen, and KG creates a new atmosphere in the Fleet Center, as these aging, 30-ish, stars can instantly make Boston a contender once again, and with hunger and heart, these ringless warriors could make the 2008 season interesting in the eastern side of the country once again. Nothing against the Cavs, but they sure do know how to make the NBA finals boring.

As to Minessota, their rebuilding phase, that was wrecked with the Joe Smith incident a decade back, could never frown with KG's departure as they are left Randy Foye, Rashard McCants, and this years draft pick Brewer along with the new arrivals, the high flyer Gerald Green and rising big man, Al Jefferson .

There's more to this year's off-season drama, I'm hoping something would happen with Phoenix as well...

Offseason Drama

It's summer season in the western world, and most likely the most watched time in sports like the NBA, and Soccer. With that being said, I would like to vent out my thoughts regarding the two teams I support, the Phoenix Suns, and the reigning La Liga Champs, Real Madrid.

After a whole season where tension and pressure is clearly seen with the players who perform in the court or the pitch, the offseason would be the playing grounds for their respective front offices, and honestly I'm not liking how they're turning out for the Suns, and a bit mediocre for the defending champs, let's start with the Suns.

Phoenix Suns (eliminated in the Western Conference Semi's against the Spurs 4-2)
In: Grant Hill, DJ Strawberry(r), Alando Tucker(r)
Out: James Jones, Rudy Fernandez(r), Pat Burke*, Jalen Rose*
After a heart breaking end for their season, I was expecting a shake up in the Suns roster that would finally boost them up for contending against the San Antonio Spurs, and would finally get that coveted Larry O'Brien trophy next season. The Suns have been linked with the most targeted superstar in the NBA, Kevin Garnett, for Marion or Stat and obviously some of their unused bench. After that failed, moving up into the draft was the next option for a shakeup but like the previous one, then came, Grant Hill and his weak ankles.

I have nothing against the former 3rd pick overall, but I wouldn't shout out a Hoyay for this acquisition as well. I would like to be optimistic, but I don't think Hill would be that much of a help... Let's face it, our former 2 time MVP aint getting young anymore and along with it, hopes of that NBA title. I just hope Tucker would be that kind of a rookie that Phoenix always drafts (Finley, Nash, Marion, Stat). And as usual, hope for the good.

On the bright side... the self proclaimed 3-point specialist, James "can't shoot for shit" Jones went to Portland along with Rudy Fernandez. I just hope ditching Fernandez would not be that of ditching Sergio "who turned out to be a good point guard" Rodriguez.

Real Madrid (2006-2007 Spanish League Champions)
In: Bernd Schuster, Pepe, Cristoph Metzelder, Saviola, Baptista(l), Soldado(l)
Out: Fabio Capello, David Beckham, Roberto Carlos, Jose Antonio Reyes(l)
It's a wee scary when you look at the transfers done by arch-rivals, Barcelona, Thierry Henry, Yaya Toure, and most likely Gabby Milito. And as for Real Madrid, we basically splurged 30ME for uncapped brazilian (but displays an awesome future as a CB) with Pepe, a couple of pretty good free transfers in El Conejo and Metzi, and still we havent addressed the most important position that any football club would need, the midfield. Looks like theres going to be no Kaka next year, and we're still waiting on the Robben saga, which in my opinion, favors Real Madrid, and Reyes as of now is still an Arsenal player.

A few players have been linked with the champs, including the likes of Chivu, Van der Vaart, and the Mijatovic show has not come to its close yet... so expect more transfers in the coming weeks... with that being said, I believe that we have to prepare for more teeth grinding frustrations...

The 2nd of July

After a week of grief, and reminiscing funfilled memories of my Tita Jojo, who passed away last week, we're now back on track. Everyone trying to recover, trying to cope with a loss of a loved one isn't as easy as it seems. She's always a part of the family, that certain Ultra family clan, a tight knitted family friends that really doesnt have any blood connections (well to some there is) but calls each other cousins. As a matter of fact, I see them almost everyday durin my childhood years, these people were more close than a cousin to me. This Saturday, when the eulogies was made, it came clear how everyone really got connected to each other. It was like reading, or watching a movie discussing the origin of a really big family.

To Tita, well, you're with God right now, in a better place, in a better world, a place where there's no sadness, no grief, nothing depressing, nothing but love and delight. How I envy your new place. You'll never leave our hearts, you'll always be missed, and remembered. Tita, you may have never heard me, but I was there until your final breath, I never really said goodbye, maybe because I can't, until last Saturday, or until now... Arrivedeci, and till we meet again.

Together We Did!

The season that everyone had their eyes on finally came to a close when Jose Antonio Reyes netted the final blow to win against Mallorca, and to win Real Madrid's 30th.

This run could never be more than a dramatic masterpiece that drew to a close in the very last minute, and unfortunately closed the book for brazilian Roberto Carlos, and English star David Beckham who will go to Fenerbache and LA Galaxy respectively. Their exit drew the galactico era to an end and a bright new future for the new madridistas, Higuain, Marcelo, Gago, Robinho and potential first teamers from La Cantera. New comers such as Cannavaro and Ruud Van Nistelroij, who won the Pichichi as La Liga's top goal scorer with 25 goals in his name, will have the Cibeles experience for the first time as well as The Don, Fabio Capello, brought truth to his promise that they will go back to the historic fountain this year.

Madridisimo is back in every Merengue supporters hearts, Together we can, and Together We DID! Congratulations Real Madrid!

Gracias Roberto Carlos y David Beckham, Gracias Real Madrid... iHALA MADRID!

Slice of the Wednesday Pie

It's almost 2 pm, a few hours away from quitting time, and my eyes plays along the music that sooths my ears as I count each tick that rotates in my watch. The checklist of deeds that I've placed in my cubicle are all marked as done, and it's run down the clock time.

And my subconscious awakens.

I have always written everything that goes on the top of my mind, maybe I'd give the stuff that plays behind the curtains a chance to come out.

It's hard to grow up when being young is the only thing that you're good at.

Maximus eh?

You scored as Maximus, After his family was murdered by the evil emperor Commodus, the great Roman general Maximus went into hiding to avoid Commodus's assassins. He became a gladiator, hoping to dominate the colosseum in order to one day get the chance of killing Commodus. Maximus is valiant, courageous, and dedicated. He wants nothing more than the chance to avenge his family, but his temper often gets the better of him.

Maximus		92%
Indiana Jones		79%
Neo, the "One"		79%
William Wallace		75%
James Bond, Agent 007		75%
Captain Jack Sparrow		75%
The Terminator		67%
El Zorro		63%
Lara Croft		63%
The Amazing Spider-Man		63%
Batman, the Dark Knight		50%

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

180 Minutes More for the Sky!

Well, the title doesnt really have anything to do with the post, I just wanted to clear my mind off of things.

First of all, I should hand myself some excuse for scoring 67 in my 2nd 9 holes of golf. The first (on a different course) is somewhere near that number aswell. That being said, I'm no Tiger Woods, well... Not yet. Guys, I'm coming after your 50's!

Whew, and maybe the next thing that I should try to get rid off is this rainy day blues. After that chat I had a little over a week ago, everything messed up. My 'Quan' went haywire from left to right, much like what I did in the 1st hole yesterday where I think I shot 11 out of a potential Par 4. Everything, including my positivity, and not rushing, to now wanting her to go back home. This is nowhere near from what is sane. I know, I should let go... Maybe I will, this is why I made this chapter 'Up From The Get Go' too...

Hopefully I could boost myself away from it.

Mierde... Thats the best description I could give about this emotional roller coaster...

Staying positive, one day, It'll all come to a close... right?

Jamming At The Front

A Tribute to the old gang back at home...
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old days goes back
those times young and free
now bounded with distance
responsibilities and time

that which we didnt have
didnt care about since its there
now we seek that of was lost
to that, raise it up, lets toast

porches and garages
thats where we met and played
us friends, bonded more like brothers
when could we jam once more?

we laughed and never cried
had stiches and petty fights
pretty soon we'll unite
to relive those days of old

with a guitar on hand
music on our hearts
reminisce old times
once more, we'll jam at the front

I Told You So

I tried not to write
harder than I tried not to think
should it be remembered?
it shouldnt be even brought up to awaken

this monster, this emotion
needs to be taken through coercion
soon it will birth uncontrollable notions
this monster, this emotion

how soon was back then
how soon will it blacken
to be buried deep within my hearts depths
I told you that its better, behind we left

I couldnt bury the hatchet
of that one close to something
a start that everyone would imagine
surprises just took its toll

No regrets they told me to do
It was a good memory, indeed it was too
time now plays his cruel identity
constantly hits me that its never were

I tried not to write
harder than I tried not to think
knowing that its going to be hard to get rid
weak as I am, alas, I did...

Free

nothing to write,
yet my emotions scream
how could it show
when the sunlight melts this snow
a cold notion
theres no motion
seems that something was placed in that drink
a love potion
it wreaks my emotions
blank mind
oblivious thoughts
ridiculous ideas
why ponder something so simple
my arms are empty
nothing, not even a pimple
i write so i would free my mind
clear my chest, and wash my hands
to start anew
funny, i still think of you
I pray for this to be taken away
a human emotion, not fit for lonliness
placed in weak hands,
my heart you stole
one night, one smile
a cold notion
sets ablaze these emotions
it runs around freely
it ruins my mind secretly
let me be, let it be
ridiculous thoughts,
they cloud my attraction
so why can i just fill it up
they roam, my eyes they roam
notices everything, im free
one night, one smile
a cold night
...

now i can smile

Up From The Get Go

Could I be up from the get go?
From that point where I start to let go
Thoughts shared from his average joe
just stating his mind, thats all I know

Reality bites, thats one reality check
nothings more real than this slap on my cheek
and even with this pain, this heart is meek
It still beats, so hard it freaks

Will I ever be up from the get go?
but which one, to you, you or that someone you know
He breathes, she breathes
Help me fight this one, help me let go

a long deep sigh, a long deep thought
will never refrain myself from being taught
how could this happen, how could you have wroth
this pain I feel,that one you brought

and as I find a way to end this piece
so that i can retreat to my sheets, and sleep in peace
i'll start on my knees, and not beg you please
knowing that you're smiling will just put me at ease

still bored...

Your results:
You are Hulk

Hulk 90% The Flash 75% Spider-Man 60% Superman 55% Iron Man 50% Robin 45% Green Lantern 45% Supergirl 35% Catwoman 20% Wonder Woman 15% Batman 10%

You are a wanderer with amazing strength.

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Its a Sicillian Thing

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Results of Boredom

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||||||||| 76% Stability |||||||||| 36% Orderliness |||||||||||| 46% Accommodation |||||| 23% Interdependence |||||||||||||| 56% Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 63% Mystical || 10% Artistic |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Religious |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Hedonism || 10% Materialism |||||||||||||||| 63% Narcissism |||||||||||| 43% Adventurousness |||||||||||||| 56% Work ethic |||||||||| 36% Self absorbed |||||||||||||||||| 76% Conflict seeking |||||||||||||| 56% Need to dominate |||||||||||||||| 70% Romantic |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Avoidant |||||||||| 36% Anti-authority |||||||||||| 43% Wealth |||||||||||||| 56% Dependency |||||||||||||||||| 76% Change averse |||||||||||| 50% Cautiousness |||||||||||| 50% Individuality || 10% Sexuality |||||| 30% Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Physical security |||||||||||||||||| 76% Physical Fitness || 10% Histrionic |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Paranoia |||||||||||| 50% Vanity |||||||||||||||| 70% Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||| 63% Female cliche |||||| 30%

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Say Hello To Me

How does it feel
To hear your untold thoughts on the radio
How does it feel
Getting ready for the rain that won't come
Isn't it frustrating
Just to reach for the unreachable
But you still try
To rise up and reach for the sky
Even if it drags you to hit the ground
Get hurt and cry
Isn't it frustrating
Just to know that you're unable
But you still try
How does it feel
To have your palms dry, empty and alone
As you sing new love songs
Slow sad emotions that flutter
Singing along these tears
That now resides in fear
How does it truly feel...
To be me...

The Piercing Mirror

So hard to understand this mans heart
his emotions, feelings and hurts
Pains and tears of sorrow
That'll soon turn to be fears for tomorrow
without reason, nor the season
To even put this man in prison

Emotions just hurts and screams louder
Suddenly this man seems subjectible to anger
Confused on where He is
Confused on where he should be

Empty, weak and without knowledge
And to the strong he pays homage
To redeem a heart thats left for rummage
Suffrage for himself
A right given to have a fight
On what seems lost, for a fools sake
And in this post the point is just missed
apology for the one who gets bothered
and throttled by my foolishness

I'll have to wait from now one
Wait for the best among them
For sure It'll come
In completion...
this piercing mirror will gain your reflection

Once more a Wandering Dreamer

The day turns to me as it runs slow
And as I look outside where the cold winds blow
My eyes begins to fight against me
My heart, empty, in gloom it blooms

Frustrations sink below
As I once dreamt of being betrothed
The songs sang by the throngs
As they rush to see deceptions
Traditions of the garters and flowers
Of smiles in faces
As one and one becomes two

I sulked and sought for that moment to be
A bit scared and nervous
It's forever before me
And as the day starts to run slow
I looked outside where the cold winds blow
Once more became that wandering dreamer

Through Your Eyes

How do I look from there
From top to bottom, how's my hair?
Salad on my teeth?
Have I said alot or am I just noise/

How am I through your eyes?
Spick and span, do I even appear nice?
Or is that goof you're with
Just that someone through your eyes

Am I too laxed?
Why do I even ask
What is it that you want?
Do I even pass as someone to rant?

How am I through your eyes?
Or did I just eat too much rice?
My goodness, look at that width
Is that who I am through your eyes?

I don't see those sparkles when we talk
nor feel your hands when we walk
Is it just me or do I think alot?
Uptight, stiff and someone I'm not?
I maybe sick of these lies
Will I be someone through your eyes?

How am I through those eyes?
tell me about your sugar and spice
and brush this uncomfortable mist
and lets talk about your eyes...
just your eyes

How am I through your eyes
could we quit playing these lies
Notice this one that beats
Try to hear them, and pass through your eyes...

Now that...
that would be nice...

Think About Tomrrow

In idle times where my mind is filled with boredom
I could just fiddle with my thoughts
right now as its full of stories and romance
hold my hand and lets start to dance

How do you like looking through tomorrow
and escape todays tormenting sorrows
lets just start with my bank account
that will soon pay for our own house
where we do our chores together
hand in hand catching that mouse

How about that porch we both dreamt of
what about torching a steak on a Sunday noon
while hammering our picket fence and planting flowers to cover dunes
think about those rooms we design
there are 2 bedrooms and 1 single floor
now I can't stop thinking of one blue door
a small bed and toys scattered on the floor

Just think about tomorrow
I can ask my mom to teach me to fix an Alfredo
Just promise me you'll name our dog poncho
raise a son that'll fulfill his fathers dreams
dreams like learning to play the guitar and someone that could sing

and soon... pretty soon we'll be sixty
How I can't wait to love you and get misty
like now when I see you, my hands get flinchy
I can't hold my breath too long
my lips are itchy

How I can just think about tomorrow
Now its time for me to face the tormenting sorrows
So much for that moment I borrowed
Since you're gone how can I make this moment follow...

A Sorrowful Bliss Called Yesterday

I held back my tears
As she suddenly came
Into my mind
She took my time

It damped my eyes
As she came to such surprise
She couldve taken my demise
If only I can turn back time

Traced through my cheeks
As the clock reaches 6
I'd do my usual deed
I pack up, get up and go

I tried to hold back
It damped my eyes
traced my cheeks
next thing you know it touched my lips

A blotch, messed up this paper
A perfectly good paper
wreaked by emotions
By a visit from a sorrowful blissful yesterday

New Chapter, new goal. I think it's about time that I should just pick myself up and start from the get go. It's about time for me to clear my head and try to let go of the stuff that should've been gone by now.

I just saw a picture of us together, and I think theres still an irk within me that wants you to be here by my side... Something that wouldn't happen since your Friendster account says that you're in a relationship and realities like we're miles apart... Nautical miles to be exact.

Every girl I meet, as far as I really enjoyed that short tenure of us not being us, never came close to comparison with you, never. I even had my preferences of an ideal woman basing closely to you, well minus the constant bickering of other people (which I really find cute, but cruel heh).

"Don't let real love pass you by", Damn it, I wish I didn't... I really wish I could turn back time and do everything right. But nothing left but a clean slate, and looking for someone who could stay with you on my pedestal, because, the way I see it, no one could ever replace you there.

I was just looking at that picture and I could just hold this smirk, try to hold back the tears and wonder if we could've been great.

My soon-to-be sister in law told me that try looking for that same person that you can really relate to, even with all the explosive craziness that I hold within me, someone like that, share misadvertures with... I just told her, that I think I already did and did nothing about it... I sticked with my infatuation of someone I knew from the very start that it's as close to impossible.

I feel like crap to tell you honestly... I'm just letting these things out so that you would know that hey, this is not yet through...

Funny thought: Holding something that you can't even grasp in the first place.

This is me, hopefully Up from the Get Go...