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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Sink or Swim

Ah yes, sink or swim, finally i came upon this stage of life when I try to conquer fear? Because in reality, you cant even tell what will happen if you dont experience it yourself. I just kept on telling my friends, c'mon you're making relationships a big deal, when all you have to do is try. And for crying out loud someone should be saying those words to me. Try? But what if she scoofs me off, or tear me apart or eat me or... well maybe not eat me, she might get clogged arteries after but going back, fear encapsulates my whole being! Im being eaten by fear itself... Fear of the unknown.

Im trembling, I couldnt even pick myself up from the floor and send her a message containing words. Im just worried that well... BAH! Marc, could you stop thinking for a while, thinking messes everything up. Well, some say sometimes using the brain is proven effective when it comes to loving. What? Shouldnt love be placing yourself in an abandoned mode? Well thats reserved for someone else, (Love ya God) but still, Agape... And throughout the ages, somehow it changed to something being used for petty things... And im being called a fool, sheesh... Then fool it is if its to be that way.

5:00 pm on the dot, 1 more hour to spend to grab stuff and walk pass the office doors, and I cant get her off my mind, I wonder what she's doing. And im thinking about what I should be doing? Ever minute feels like an hour, jeeeeeeeez...

Suddenly i have this urge to scream and shout, its getting crowded in my chest area, what could this be? Thinking about it, i didnt eat something oily today, i swear, i just ate crackers and spam... But strange enough this feeling just grabs hold of me. And let me ask this question, why is it that everytime you talk with someone that you like... wait Why is it that everytime "I" talk with someone "I" like out comes a totally different Marco? Im not silent, but then I get my tounge tied...

But anyway, Sink or swim, this light is green :)

2 comments:

lino said...

swim bro... swim.... hehehe :)

Marco de Jesus said...

just keep swimming just keep swimming :)