Im so bad at this

Why cant courting and the whole love and relationship be just like what happens in the movies? Theres some chasing, and then dating, a little fighting here and there but it still ends up happily ever after (unless you watch a teeny psycho movie where kids can get strangled by a chordless phone). But why? this whole thing, im just so bad at this! on the reel, its seems as easy as 1-2-and 3, When i speak with someone about this, they tell me not to worry its easy... Why cant i see it that way? why why why!?!??!?!?

This has always been my prayer, every night, im patient, im trained to be patient :), but i just cant see why im not good at this whole thing? why cant i hit the right questions? or even the guts just to call her at home?!? why am i friggin worried about this whole thingamajiggy??? why?!!??

I'd love to know her more and more, i like to see what it is with her that she can handle this easily, that when everytime i see her it seems nothing, but then something tells me, theres more into it... well since thats how i am... and right now, as you can see, its happening.

But then again, i must be doing something wrong with myself... well for one, i should be pursuing #1, Jesus, first :(, but i still feel incomplete waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah....
but surprisingly, by the end of the day, Pursuing Jesus and his presence during prayers and going deep on His word suffices every feeling that i had throughout the day... His presence is still the number 1 reward :D

Just need to scream these stuff out...

Why isnt it like the movies? because movie stars ends up getting divorced thats why...
Thousand Miles na to! (*piano plays*)