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Friday, October 28, 2005

Rant of the Week: Doom

"Learn from your mistakes" is indeed true, after watching doom? i learned that i shouldve listened to the 19% rating from RT.com.



The title speaks for itself, it truly is... DOOM!... i couldve enjoyed an hour and a half playing the game all over again for free, instead of paying 100 bucks just to sit my ass down and watch the famed game from our time bastardized. Whats next? Scorched Earth the movie?

Loving the violent game from our childhood made our parents crazy about what we are doing in the computer for more than 5 hours... yes we're playing with evil all right, and we dont know evil until we see it. Evil is reading Rock's mouth say "shit" but hearing "smokes"? and how about watching the first person thing they did with the movie but with the mouse sensitivity of 15!. How about watching the movie skip scenes and just see some monster dropping with an axe on his head.
How about just giving me back the hour i spent? I couldve spent that 100 for four hours on a pc shop. sheesh...

Ok, ok... lets find something to praise about the movie? Remember that Big F*cking Gun we used in Quake and Doom? yes its also there, the BFG... Bio Force Gun or Big "Friggin" Gun (I read something else from Rock's mouth). The BFG was really BIG and bad looking, so bad it killed walls instead of monsters... Whats the use of that gun then?

The Action? Well its full of it, shit that is... I dont like watching a movie with my eyes always looking for people roaming in the dark... 2 reasons, I dont like hands just appearing from nowhere and I dont like looking for them on the big screen, FYI the humans invented light waaaay waaaaay back in the day... And they have this thing called a switch to turn them on.

Bottom Line: The movie didnt really deserve the 19% rating they got from RT. If it wasnt for the reminiscing of the game, and the chick who didnt know how to wear a bra on mars? It couldve recieved a Rock Bottom from the most electrifying soldier, Sarge...

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