Silence means what we all know

Im out of words to say
im out of thoughts to think
what could this be
im so tired, so tired to think
Have i brought this on myself
not myself... someone else
current state, unexplainable but seen
im writing a note to myself
where have you been
so far i have sought
now grieving searching and yearning
a heart so empty now it seeks
so much of you, so much of you

whats there to ponder
not even a second to wonder
just think what to say
this is all i have by the way

whats there to offer
but my life now in a sunder
dont think, just pray
I miss you love...

thats all i have to say
i miss those days i have something to hold
now i hope and wait
for that day to come once more
its on my mind
it never escapes my mind
euphoric praise
enlightening phrases
oh im in love
oh great Unseen im in love

whats there to ponder.
not a second to wonder
im here, and ill stay
stare at you and say...

..........................................

Rains and Roots

the skies cries along with me
a man sitting steady like a tree
strong sturdy
on the ground he's fused
but among men
without shame he's abused
my emotions continue to cry and seek
as it struggles so hard to be free
what couldve caused this resolve
that this creature would just dissolve
my foolishness could you please absolve
and let the sky cry until i mold

Mirror Image

Im real arent I?
Bring in the mirror
so that i could see for myself
What am i, who am i...
How hard is it to deal
im not questioning just wondering
what am i, who am i...
overlooked and not booked
others crooked
had their hands shook
come and take my heart
come and take my desires
hard to look and look
but i know its with you that ill find
everything that i seek
everything that i need
and everything that you did
now youre the one overlooked
and not booked
so i see through the mirror
and see myself
what am i... and who am i...
lifes easier to deal
my feelings i love to squeal
to leave no questions
for me to ponder
bitter as i am...
but i know who i am

Are You Having Fun?

A friend made a conclusion about her experiences about guys. What about them, well most of all why relationships are only fun when its just beginning, since guys only put their best foot forward during those stages of courtships and relationships, then everything just crashes and burns as time passes by. Who has she been dating?

Then I thought, well im not like that... how can i be sure of that, ive never been in one... literally... Sad life eh? I deem not. Im still happy... but when it comes to love and relationships, why do one look for one? I mean when you come and look at it... is it really that important to have a really strong connection with the opposite sex on this age? what for? I asked myself the same question and until now i dont have the answers that will enlighten myself. It seems that everything that I need is already here within me, and im talking about Jesus here.

Happiness... Are you having fun? Am I? With life as it is, yes, im seldom seen down and really emotionally burnt... Or again another misconception of myself... I've always been at miserable park all my life... Strolling around pretending to hold someones hand while feeding the doves or staring at the pale moon light. What have i been doing wrong? This is starting to just become serious. And im still wondering why jerks always end up with them?

Again... Am I having fun?
Hell Yeah...
21 Years old... still kicking... im not going down without a fight... I'll press on...

4:40 Darkness

4:40 on the dot on the clock, and when you look at the watermarks on the window, the lights from the cars tail lights and buildings are the only ones that lights the city up.

its unusual but not surprising during the rainy season. Worried on my desk on mid July, just thinking and minding what a dreamer would always think of.

"How is she doing? How am I doing?"

Unfinished

On the nick of time
Throwing what i thought was mine
In a world where mimes abound
Inside this imaginary box, im bound

Playing around, missing the point
soon to be afraid on the corner sitting coiled
in gloom, in the cold, alone and burrowed
holding the borrowed time like its ours

easily budged by strong currents that flows
and to be built like a tree grows
deeply rooted on love and faith, I arose
the damned, the Savior, the saved

the clouds shroud, the rain poured
one tiny spot He cant take on the “formed”
He cries, He delights, with blood He mourned
to have me back in his arms, that I was told

long, long before, young and careless
thats true, I couldnt care less…
what He did I took for granted
Not even seeing to Him ill be grounded

Humble as I stumble
with my toungue thats ready to grumble
the tool of my falls and fumbles
but He began and promised to push through

oh what love could that be
that saved a sinner like me
what love could that be
that not even i cant see

what love could this be…
that the Lord portrayed in me

Last Page

stir my heart for it knows Your Name
Bless my mouth and let it not speak the same
My heart, It cries a song
Words that waited to come out for so long
Now the praise goes to where it belongs

And as you move the clouds to paint the sky
The morning blesses me with your light
Everyday I seek, and everyday I pray
That the Heart of the King be shown today

No greater time it is right now
For this servant to come and bow down
Right here where crowns are layed
Where your beloved have prayed
My heart, it cries too long
Words that transpired to a song
Now the praise goes to where it belongs
back to where it belongs

And as you move the clouds to paint the sky
The canvas lit as your art cries
The most precious Son that I sought and prayed
The Heart of the King is shown today

Photocut

suddenly my emotions run through it
through my veins as it replenishes each skin
to make it pink while losing it blankens my face
in pale white as i took up your picture

i miss the stupid look on my face
and i just miss how you wipe it off me
i miss the sudden rush on my cheeks
that flusters my whole being, like a stroke that tied my toungue

where could it be right now
emotions now runs through it
pumps each and every vein
just hoping that a tone would reach my fingers

to tell you that it lingers
as i point through my chest
and how i like the rush
and how the other expects the thrill

the wait doesnt matter
i plan to do it all out
to start and not finish
to begin, and keep on running

like the blood that pumps on my veins
that engulfs my whole being as i hold your hand
and as morning wakes...
silence... pale... still rushing...

062906

My tower and my strength
pour forth your spirit on this war
My tower, my strength
be with me as I feel her breathe down my neck
shivers on my spine be gone
My tower My strength
he brings me peace
My tower, My strength
brings you down to your knees
my enemies footstool of my feet
The kings that was created
to rule, subdue and dominate
subjugate the spirit that roams here
ambassadors of light
with our tower and strength
we pierce throught the dark
My refuge, my tower and my strength
As I battle with the lines of the enemy
Grant me peace…
Amen

Im so bad at this

Why cant courting and the whole love and relationship be just like what happens in the movies? Theres some chasing, and then dating, a little fighting here and there but it still ends up happily ever after (unless you watch a teeny psycho movie where kids can get strangled by a chordless phone). But why? this whole thing, im just so bad at this! on the reel, its seems as easy as 1-2-and 3, When i speak with someone about this, they tell me not to worry its easy... Why cant i see it that way? why why why!?!??!?!?

This has always been my prayer, every night, im patient, im trained to be patient :), but i just cant see why im not good at this whole thing? why cant i hit the right questions? or even the guts just to call her at home?!? why am i friggin worried about this whole thingamajiggy??? why?!!??

I'd love to know her more and more, i like to see what it is with her that she can handle this easily, that when everytime i see her it seems nothing, but then something tells me, theres more into it... well since thats how i am... and right now, as you can see, its happening.

But then again, i must be doing something wrong with myself... well for one, i should be pursuing #1, Jesus, first :(, but i still feel incomplete waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah....
but surprisingly, by the end of the day, Pursuing Jesus and his presence during prayers and going deep on His word suffices every feeling that i had throughout the day... His presence is still the number 1 reward :D

Just need to scream these stuff out...

Why isnt it like the movies? because movie stars ends up getting divorced thats why...
Thousand Miles na to! (*piano plays*)

Friday (what to do)

6:30pm Festival Mall 2F on Top of Nat'l Bookstore!

GRAVITY

Go NOW! And awaken ;)

----
The Post to end the day...

WOOOOOOOOH!!!! This day is far most one of the best days that I ever had! Spiritual High is at its all time pumped up and hyper state (like i drank a gajillion cups of coffee)... And the mystery just keeps on unfolding...

Heaven on earth... thats what it is :D
Prepare the way :D

And with that... g'night ;)

Subjugating Darkness

Status: [Spiritual hunger is higher than yesterday... sitting, waiting, praying...]

This new mystery that unfolded before my very eyes is so friggin cool. Hehe, I've always been naive and proud of myself knowing some stuff, but there will always be something bigger and better than what I know. Pieces of jigsaw puzzles that just shows the bigger picture out there, and what a beauty it is.

I have always been intact and hard on intimacy, its all that i needed, intimacy and love, while i thought that that was it, when its the whole Nitrous Oxide for a runner to get a bigger picture, its like "Now that youre pumped up, fueled and hyped! now see this and run!" Heh...

Psalms 110:1
The Lord says to my lord, "Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies a footstool of your feet."

One thing is for sure on that verse, someone will be subjugated and another will subjugate. Just like light pierces to the darkest room, just like a voice will be heared in the middle of the dessert, makes it all clear why we, the awakened ones, are awakened to see, hear and do whatever it is that is needed to be done...

The time for subjugation has come and the time to take that step forward again has come, the time to see what it is to see, hear what is to hear, then speak what it is to be spoken has come. Repent for the kingdom has come, and its time to make an advancement and take things forcefully because the enemy will not go down as easy as that (even with me, that booger aint giving up). And its up to us on how we will choose to attack and retaliate. Kingdom against kingdom, hear the command and conquer haha...

Our time is now... Repent for the kingdom has come :)
Salud!

Mid-week Log

Working Confidence at its all time high, with alot of stuff to do and having it done as faster than my superiors have expected (and with slight mistakes) just made my week for me. Spiritual Hide and Seek is getting better and better (the searching for more have never been this fun) missing Jesus' and really going deep just to hear from Him again is as never as fun as it could be. (Going deep on Isaiah 30:41 and just going deep on the first line answers every question that I asked during this times. To be honest, one part of my life is at its all time low, but right now just reading and receiving something from 30:41's first line, its just everything that I need. So its going to be filled up with the best.

Spain won against Tunisia, and what a comeback it was, haha watching it 3am in the morning and just seeing Torres stamped the period on the game made the sleepyhead jump and go wild.

Miami just won today 95-92. Degeneration X (HHH and HBK) reunited on RAW and what a sight it was, a blast from the past with the green strobe lights, green paint, air brushes, and most of all the crotch chops makes me feel like im 15 again.

As the day folds to an end, im all pumped up and hyped and as the title says... The light is green guys! Lets Go!!

2 more days to wrap this week up, and everything just keeps on getting better and better.
The mystery will unfold, pray...
:)

Sink or Swim

Ah yes, sink or swim, finally i came upon this stage of life when I try to conquer fear? Because in reality, you cant even tell what will happen if you dont experience it yourself. I just kept on telling my friends, c'mon you're making relationships a big deal, when all you have to do is try. And for crying out loud someone should be saying those words to me. Try? But what if she scoofs me off, or tear me apart or eat me or... well maybe not eat me, she might get clogged arteries after but going back, fear encapsulates my whole being! Im being eaten by fear itself... Fear of the unknown.

Im trembling, I couldnt even pick myself up from the floor and send her a message containing words. Im just worried that well... BAH! Marc, could you stop thinking for a while, thinking messes everything up. Well, some say sometimes using the brain is proven effective when it comes to loving. What? Shouldnt love be placing yourself in an abandoned mode? Well thats reserved for someone else, (Love ya God) but still, Agape... And throughout the ages, somehow it changed to something being used for petty things... And im being called a fool, sheesh... Then fool it is if its to be that way.

5:00 pm on the dot, 1 more hour to spend to grab stuff and walk pass the office doors, and I cant get her off my mind, I wonder what she's doing. And im thinking about what I should be doing? Ever minute feels like an hour, jeeeeeeeez...

Suddenly i have this urge to scream and shout, its getting crowded in my chest area, what could this be? Thinking about it, i didnt eat something oily today, i swear, i just ate crackers and spam... But strange enough this feeling just grabs hold of me. And let me ask this question, why is it that everytime you talk with someone that you like... wait Why is it that everytime "I" talk with someone "I" like out comes a totally different Marco? Im not silent, but then I get my tounge tied...

But anyway, Sink or swim, this light is green :)

(On a wishful thinking mode)

Oo - Up Dharma Down

‘Di mo lang alam
Naiiisip kita
Baka sakali lang maisip mo ako
‘Di mo lang alam
Hanggang sa gabi inaasam makita kang muli

Nagtapos ang lahat sa di inaasahang pahanon
At ngayon ako ay iyong iniwan
Luhaan, sugatan, ‘di mapakinabangan
Sana nagtanong ka lang
Kung ‘di mo lang alam
Sana’y nagtanong ka lang
Kung ‘di mo lang alam

Ako’y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Hindi mo lang alam
Kay tagal na panahon
Ako’y nandirito pa rin hanggang ngayon para sa’yo

Lumipas mga araw na ubod ng saya
‘Di pa rin nagbabago ang aking pagsinta
Kung ako’y nagkasala patawad na sana
Puso kong pagal ngayon lang nagmahal

‘Di mo lang alam
Ako’y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Puro s’ya na lang
Sana’y ako naman
‘Di mo lang alam
Ika’y minamasdan
Sana’y iyong mamalayang hindi mo lang pala alam

‘Di mo lang alam
Kahit tayo’y magkaibigan lang
Napapaligaya lang sa tuwing nagkukulitan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Ako’y nandito lang
Hindi mo lang alam
Matalino ka naman

Kung ikaw at ako
Ay tunay na bigo sa laro na ito
Ay dapat bang sumuko
Sana hindi ka lang pala aking nakilala
Kung alam ko lang ako’y masasaktan ng ganito
Sana’y nakinig na lang ako sa nanay ko

‘Di mo lang alam
Ako’y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Puro s’ya na lang
Sana’y ako naman
Isang kindat man lang
‘Di mo lang alam
O, ika’y minamasdan
Sana iyo’y mamalayang di mo lang pala alam
Oooooooo

Malas mo
Ikaw ang natipuhan ko
Di mo lang alam
Ako’y iyong nasaktan

Home Wrecker

Where could i run
To find solidarity
Where could i hide
to where peace resides

My heart is troubled
Matters shattered
What was once happy
Now wrecked and battered

How could this be?
When I got you in me
Where this place i grew
Still the same but anger it brews

Oh where could I run back to
Can you place me in some place new?
But I still ask you to renew
The peace this house once drew

5/23 War Encounter

I feel you behind me
i can hear you laughing
snickering mocking my weak flesh

laugh out now for it will pass
I called my Champ, He'll kick your ass
Now let's see who'll run fast

Oh, He's coming
You know it's true
The swine is waiting for you

Kneel in respect
The King is with me
He's the one that set me free

Kneel in respect
Bow your head
You creature of horns and full of red

Burn you will
For in there you dwell
And hide inside the gates of hell

Return no more
Im with my King
Together we will slay your filthy ring

Dont ever come back
Or you will be locked
In prison you will rot and flogged

Feelings of 5-22

how long shall we believe on the norm
that takes us beats us, we're out of form
and we let him snatch us, and our faith torn

how long shall we keep our eyes closed
and of things that are not ours we boast
keep these going pretty soon we're toast

scorched on that porch they seem to know
the fires that will eat us from down below
open your eyes! see others glow!

its not too late, to seal your fate
he loves us so, no need to debate
he loves us so, eventhough we're not that great

oh taste and see his goodness
and feel your heart enter calmness
peaceful and blameless

oh taste and see his presence
better than wine, or the smell of incense
everyone's welcome, no need for license

see him, feel him and peel yourself
of the thick skin that surrounds your pelt
he waits for you, just deny yourself

awaken young people awaken
for this world needs to be shaken
and lets see his arrival quicken

Love, so beaten and overwritten
Needs someone to change it's meaning
Love, what used to be so powerful
Needs to be saved for it's sake

Love, so tattered and used
Now misinforms individuals of her
Love, has now lost it's way
I need you to come back home

Love, I miss your touch
Break this stone where you used to reside
Love, Im so numb, no pain
I want to cry, I want to weep for pain

Love, so sought and rarely found
is right above us, awaken and feel
Love, a love that never gives up
That kind of love that I cant keep up

The Letter

In love i fell
for i loved too well
not to you
where this love should dwell

i crashed and burned
in this i learned
it should be you
that my heart yearns

In pains and screams
my past it leans
you changed it all
for now im clean

but death still lingers
i can feel his fingers
cover me
lets cripple his fingers

and now i know
of whom to seek
my body withers
eyes starts to leak

my wounds are gone
deeds undone
i thank you Lord
lets do this, lets run

help me endure
i'm in this race
help me catch up
and run your pace

hear my cry
from a heart that yearns
truly yours
my name, of yours