Used Hands

Armed with a pen and your whispers
I will liberate those who dwell in darkness
Lost without your guidance
seeking Love, and fighting for the wrong reasons

With your words holding my pen
Onwards we will march towards your promise
And in your name, your light will pierce through them

Aurora Log:

I finally found what was missing in my life. I finally found joy and hapiness in exchange for the gloom and sadness i felt before leaving Manila. I finally saw the place in which i reside in delight.
In love, joy, and unexplainable hapiness. You might find me strange, you might see me different all of a sudden. Paul (once Saul the Roman Commander) was once.

Its amazing just to see when youre stripped of all the stuff you're used to, technology, vices, and just the stuff that keeps you busy to meditate and just search for your soul. Im ready, I give my life to THE POTTERS HANDS.

And in my sleep you renewed my dreams
No longer tormented, no longer in gloom
But living in love and intimacy
With YOU, im new...

W. Dreamer Blog Down til 4/6/2006

Dreamers Log. 2:54 am

This is it. My flight away from the city and to an unchartered land.
See you all on the 6th
Till then, fare thee well...

-Marco aka Wandering Dreamer

Oblivion Rising

Emotions, keeps playing its song
haunting my dreams, where i usually play
where i reside and wandered for so long
hurts me even more when i lay

To God I pray
please take these away
the burdens i carry everyday
since that day when i heared her say

No longer will i see
No longer will i feel
sleep, dream, and soar
this love... what for

Oblivion rising upon me
Lord help me out from this deep dark hole
i want to feel and see again
Why they're happy with this unjust love

"Hello World"

*sigh* this is it... we, graduates, are now officially unemployed. so eager to slack, so eager to just lie down and get back what school took... our moments in our bed hah. How come the thought of finding a job just bewilders me. Should i pursue the career of being a bum for a while? or will i just shoot the moon and go? Decisions, these are the stuff that makes adulthood hard.

I'm going to Aurora tomorrow along with m friends in church to restore Hope to the devastated place. Laugh all you want, but i want to wake up from the comforts of the urban life. I want my eyes to open on whats around, with that maybe, i might see things clearer...
Matt 14:22
Like Peter did, Im getting out of my boat... and you know how the story goes... you know who i am seeking, and who i am going to... with the raging seas and everything, if He says so, so be it.

side note:
6 days without computers, maybe phone (stupid sun), tv, this will be a trial for me hehe wish me luck :P

this is something like a soul searching thing for me
1 week hiatus from the comforts of technology and a bed... lets go!

Graduation Day!

It is within our grasps
the highlight of our youth
a new journey waiting to unfold
story of our flight soon to be told

On that isle we'll march
proudly, as we'll step one foot forward
with our colors as our pride
graduates, to the future, lets ride

And like the first day in our class
the first words we learned will be our last
"Hello World"
here we come...

Congratulations SBCA-CAS Graduates of Batch 2006!!!
Our time has come!

Soundtrack: PNE - Barkada, PNE - Saan Man Patungo, EHeads - Minsan, John Cena - My Time has Come

Barkada Tribute Post #2

After hearing the song i just couldnt let it go away... cheers to the friends that made my College a memorable one... Good Luck, and Have Fun!!!

Laughters that once filled the hall
People that once sat on that place
Missing stuff from their usual places
Are from my friends that will never be replaced

-Minsan-

minsan sa may kalayaan tayo'y nagkatagpuan
may mga sariling gimik at kaya-kanyang hangad sa buhay
sa ilalim ng iisang bubong
mga sekretong ibinubulong
kahit na anong mangyari
kahit na saan ka man patungo
ngunit ngayon kay bilis maglaho ng kahapon
sana'y huwag kalimutan ang ating mga pinagsamahan
at kung sakaling gipitin ay laging iisipin
na minsan tayo ay naging
tunay na magkaibigan
minsan ay parang wala nang bukas sa buhay natin
inuman sa magdamag na para bang tayo'y mauubusan
sa ilalim ng bilog na buwan
mga tiyan nati'y walang laman
ngunit kahit na walang pera
ang bawat gabi'y anong saya
minsan ay hindi ko na alam ang nangyayari
kahit na anong gawin
lahat ng bagay ay merong hangganan
dahil ngayon tayo ay nilimot ng kahapon
di na mapipilitang buhayin ang ating pinagsamahan
ngunit kung sakaling mapadaan baka
ikaw ay aking tawagan
dahil minsan tayo ay naging
tunay na magkaibigan

Barkada

for years we've laughed and tripped
for all the times we've held each other up
for all the pains and troubles we've dealt and endured
for all the times we just did nothing
for the 4 years you just stood there
short as it may be...

nothing will take those memories
thanks...

Barkada

heto na ang mga officials ng barkada
kanya-kanyang kalokohan ang bawat bida
merong medyo praning
meron din ang antukin
kumpleto sa rekado ang barkada namin

pinagtagpotagpo kami ng tadhana
kahit pinanggalingan namin ay iba iba
walang pakialam kung san mapadaan
basta't sabay-sabay kaming nagtatawanan

basta nanjan ang bawat miyembro ng tropa
ang kalokohan ay di mawawala
hindi na dapat pinag iisipan pa
lahat tayo ay dapat magsaya

musmos palang magkakasama na kami
nagkasundo kahit iba't ibang ugali
ganyan lang talaga saming munting barkada
kasakasama mo sa hirap at ginhawa

magkasabay mula sa pagsikat ng araw
magkasama hanggang daigdig ay magunaw
sa dami-dami ng aming napagdaanan
walang tatalo sa aming pinagsamahan

di na yata magsasawa
saming pagsasamasama
at sa aming barkada
asahan ng hindi mawawala
ang kalokohan at ang walang
tigil na tawanan sapagkat
ang bawat kabarkada namin ay sadyang ganyan

Just a Spur

6 billion people in the world,
different and apart,
6 billion different souls,
wandering on its own...

6 billion seems like a lot
but to change everthing
all you need is 1...

The Untitled VII

I couldve locked the door
I couldve ended it all
Took your keys and shut it close
But i just couldnt take what you took

My heart is aching i cant stay
My fists closed as i hit the wall
Im stuck in your presence
In your absence

Messages from the deep is killing me
Too far, i cant run anymore
I'm giving up, laying it all down
Even if it gives me an all day frown

Like the song says, we couldve been more
I just cant take it, I'll never get to be with you
My feelings, I'll bury youre free
No more of this, No remedies

Im shattered, devastated, and battered
Cracked open, bare and naked
I'll leave this empty, clean and raked
We couldve been more...

When will these feelings fly.

An open letter, To the idiots bitching in the street (from email)

An open letter
To the idiots bitching in the street,

Thanks a lot guys! Thank you for clogging up the city's main roads. Thanks for disrupting the country's business capital again. And thank you for fucking up the economy. You should pat yourselves on the back for accomplishing so much today. God knows nobody else accomplished as much today because you upset everybody else's normal everyday lives. And hey, I bet you guys needed something to do. Boredom can really be a bitch.

By the way, good thinking on doing this on a weekday! The people who needed to work today had a sort of day off. I guess you felt they needed that. You know, everyone who got stuck in traffic, and the employees who had to miss a day's pay because you couldn't wait to 'celebrate' EDSA's anniversary on it's proper date, which should have been tomorrow. But hey, we understand that kind of thinking. If you did it tomorrow, on a weekend, no one would really give a shit, would they? So we totally understand that you just had to do it today. You sure pissed a lot of people off! Good job!

I'm trying to imagine how exciting this time must be for you guys. You must have been up all night, trying to think of clever stuff to paint on your signs and placards and banners for your big day tomorrow. Waking up this morning, you guys must have felt like grade-schoolers getting dressed for their school’s foundation day. I really loved one sign I saw on TV, which read, "FIGHT POVERTY!" How clever! How utterly inspired! Imagine, parading around, braving the hot sun, letting everyone know how much you want to alleviate poverty. It’s a bit ironic though -- wanting to fight poverty while disrupting the lives of everybody else in the city who are actually trying to work today. If you think about it, maybe the idea for that slogan ain’t so hot. I just want to know why you’d want to clog the streets with your spectacle, bothering the people who’re really trying to fight poverty by actually working?

You guys must really be bummed because the police cracked down on your little party at EDSA today. They even arrested some of the dudes who wanted to get the party started. I feel ya, dogs. Here’s an alternative: why not hold the party at the big houses of the politicians rallying with you? Those guys are loaded! You should see their big yards and swimming pools. I bet they would even volunteer to take some of y’all on their shiny new SUVs and big, bad-ass Benzes. If only someone came up with that idea. That would be a hell of a party. It sure beats braving the hot sun. On the other hand, maybe being blasted with water from fire trucks is more fun than it looks.

The president pulled another party-pooper again, proclaiming a state of emergency and banning all rallies off the street. That must’ve pissed you guys off even more, right? She’s practically suppressing your rights! But don’t worry guys. There’s a lot of other fun stuff you can still do that’s within your rights. Like drinking gasoline. Or jumping off a bridge. Try it! Let’s see her make a rule banning that! That’ll show her.

I understand the anger. Heck, no one wants to pay higher taxes, right? Who cares about the improving economy because of that anyway? Maybe you guys don’t pay your taxes, so party on! One thing though, after everything’s said and done, she’s still in the palace, the taxes are still in place, but the economy suffered because of all the stunts you all planned. If only you guys could put your act together so everybody would have something to show for it. But maybe that wasn’t your fault. I’m sure you expected more people there with you, since the ex-president’s son kept insisting that 85% of the country is on your side.

What’s up with the police messing up the gathering? Man, that sure ruined everything, right? After all the planning, the hours thinking up the clever little chants, then having everyone memorize the words. They practically negated hours and hours of work! What’re you gonna do with the big banners now? What’s gonna happen to the big paper-mache heads of George Bush and GMA that you all made to burn in front of the news cameras? There goes your 15 minutes of fame.

Oh, well. Cheer up guys, you still accomplished a lot today.
Anyway, there’s always tomorrow. It’s not like you guys have anything better to do, right?

Heaven Knows - Orange and Lemons

There are times when I’m lying in my bed
Hug my pillow and cry from this tip again
And my eyes are like windshields on a rainy day
Almost rubbed down, swelling, as I keep on
Dipping my face in these cold hands of mine
Heaven knows how bitter I am

‘Cause this angel has flown away from me
Leaving me in drunken misery
I should have clipped her wings and made her mine
For all eternity
Now this angel has flown away from me
Thought I had the strength to set her free
Did what I did because I love her so
Will she ever find her way back home to me
Aah…

I’m so tired, I feel like catching forty winks
Being up all night in this elbow room
That puts me in a trance
Where hopes and dreams come true
Now my lips are burning and my eyes are hurting
From this fuse I mixed till I light another
Cigarette just to pass my time, oh
Heaven knows how bitter I am

The Feb 5 Aftermath

Well i didnt get the verdict that i was expectin, but hey, i aint goin to defend anymore. We got Major Revisions, but its all good. Whats done is done, and all i have to do is to revise something and submit and chill...

Anyway thats it. Congratulations to those who passed the defense! PARTY UP!

soundtrack for the day: Snoop Dogg - Gin and Juice ::: The Game - Hate it or Love it

Feb 5. Judgement Day

What could be the verdict on the highlight of all IT graduates tomorrow? i wont lie, i am worried, and im on the verge of shitting myself just having the thought of defending it. Im trying to be calm, but its a fine line between failure and success. I need the BIG MAN's help tomorrow, very very bad.

4 years of college, and it all comes down to this. We're facing a tough panel tomorrow and come what may, its an opportunity so i'll take it.

Pray for me tomorrow, i need it bad.

Soundtrack for the day: Eminem - Lose Yourself ::: R. Kelly - World's Greatest

So Sick (NE-YO)

Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I'm alone
Cuz right now it says that we
Can't come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
Cuz you walked out the door
But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore
(it's ridiculous)
It's been months
And for some reason I just
(can't get over us)
And I'm stronger then this
(enough is enough)
No more walkin round
With my head down
I'm so over being blue
Cryin over you

Gotta fix that calender I have
That's marked July 15th
Because since there's no more you
There's no more anniversary
I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory
And how every song reminds me
Of what used to be

(Leave me alone)
Leave me alone
(Stupid love songs)
Dont make me think about her smile
Or having my first child
Let it go
Turning off the radio

And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

Not enough

will i ever find courage
will i ever see my dream
will i ever feel the warmth
of arms around me beside a furnace

dreams foretold
dreams i'll hold
real worlds a mess
everythings just a miss

will i still believe in love
to hope and care?
or just be cold and bare
for i seek the person who's no longer there

i always think its not fair
for all the love i give
i dont even get my share
now tell me whats fair

im enraged, im angered
but love still lingers
with hope, i hold on my dreams
head on my way, its not enough

so i bid farewell to you
dark and cold
twisted and bothered
thats how ill leave
farewell to the light
farewell...

Inspirations that builds our inner self

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Excerpt from "Coach Carter"

Think about it... let us liberate ourselves, and liberate others... shine! and let others be inspired and do what we do...

when you really digest these words, we ask ourselves are we capable of these things? well he did why cant we? We always look for examples and try to do what he did... so in my own way... we can build ourselves our own utopia... perfect is not impossible... impossible is nothing. Work together and all will be perfect, we as individuals might not be perfect but we as countrymen, brothers under one flag can make it happen. Change is inevitable... HIS favor is upon us...

OUR TIME on 3!

The Wonder of Torrents

Im just having a quick R & R before going back on working with my thesis. And writing about something eventhough you guys already know about it is relaxing and gets my mind working.

Anyway, what is a torrent? It's way of getting your stuff from the internet through P2P (peer-2-peer networking) aside from your Kazaa, Bearshare, E-Mule or Limewire. It does the same thing, gives you stuff for free. May it be music, games, movies or utilities. The only difference between P2P softwares and torrents is that torrents gives you the whole package. Its archived for you to download everything in one click.

In softwares like Limewire, you search for a particular song, and you download them one by one, torrent softwares can provide you a .torrent of a whole album (if you like all of the songs in that album). Another advantage between a torrent and using P2P softwares like limewire (alright ill just call it P2P softwares) is that you can check the comments made by a person who already has the file, since you have to pass through a site (ex. Torrentspy or TorrentBox) before downloading torrents.

And in a nutshell, torrents can give you the whole package. Just like having the whole cd ripped for 4 or more hours (depends on the filesize and your download speed).

Thats all, :D

Ultraelectromagneticjam - The music of the Eraserheads

Hindi mapakali, magdamag hinahanap... thats music for me, I cant live without my earphones plugged on my ears. We listen to it while we walk, we do homeworks, while travelling, or while taking a crap. And whats amazing about music, is we leave it for 10 or more years and it comes back to you bringing your past memories while listening to them. You talk about it with people among your age bracket. When you hear songs like "Ang Huling El Bimbo" you just suddenly talk about it with them. How about a whole new tribute album for the band that brought music to my childhood days? A tribute to the music of the Eraserheads who gave us a whole new meaning of what OPM is back in the 90's. The band that opened our ears with their lines "Di ba T*ng Ina!" is definitley worth the tribute, and the 300Php that I exchanged for this bliss.

10 or so years ago, we begin to brag about our walkman and no walkman is found without Ultraelectromagneticpop, Circus, or Cutterpillow plugged in it.

Now that we have our iPod's and W800i's, it brings back the days where we walk hand in hand with our old portable casette players, to the digitalized colorful "chuva" we call mp3 players, and still with our favorite Eraserheads songs, sung by today's OPM kings and Queens.

When I bought the album, i was kinda disappointed not to find 2 of my oldtime favorite E-heads songs, "Waiting for the Bus, and Poorman's Grave) but finding almost all of their hits in it.

I like almost all of it but to mention some of the tracks, i like South Border's version of With a Smile (although the original is still better, but its a new sound of the already good song), Orange and Lemon's Huwag kang Matakot semi-medly (with riffs of Julie Tearjerky and background singing of Tikman's chrous). Of course Imago's Spoliarium revision is on my top ranking among the favorites. Francis M's Super Proxy 2k6 brings back the heavy tunes and of this song with a much harder strum (hooray for distortions). And the soothing voice of Juris of MYMP reinvented another Cutterpilow hit "Huwag Mo nang Itanong" adding a relaxing acoustic and piano tunes to it. Of course Radioactive Sago Project will never be left out of my list, their smashing jazzy chuva tunes rendered into Alcohol. Sugarfree and Rico J. Puno wraps up the favorites with their cover of Tikman (a song written for Burger Machine commercial) and Ang Huling El Bimbo.

Other tracks that are included are the following:

Magasin (Paolo Santos)
Overdrive (Barbie Almalbis)
Ligaya (Kitchie Nadal)
Pare Ko (Spongecola)
Hard To Believe (Cueshe)
Maling Akala (Brownman Revival)
Para Sa Masa (Various Artists)

Memoirs of the Wandering Dreamer: To the real world

Yesterday we had our Job Fair at our school. Several companies visited to check out the merchandise San Beda Alabang is offering, yes we we're put on display.

Companies tried to entice us with their benefits and everything, the company that really caught my attention was Chinabank. They have an IT dept, and the presentation was well said and really caught the students attention, they have good stuff to offer the employees. Too bad i was too lazy to apply there. Accenture was one of my targets since... it is Accenture, some say its the Mecca for IT Grads here in the Phils. But then again, if i get an offer at GIS (top of my list) id get that rather than Accenture, if i get in. Hapiness is a weapon for working hard... cmon if youre not happy? why work? and Hapiness is found at the former company since they do offer a good environment and a whole new world to venture in.

Enough about that... so back to the present times. Preparation for this real world we youngens are excited to step in, and the veterans so keen to get out. Im wondering... why?? You work for your livelihood, youre independent and youre just out and about yourself... Why are they so keen to get out? Its for them to know and for me to find out... well... i hope im ready... if im not? i will be soon.

Brighter Side:
RP is leading the medal tally in the SEA Games... Hooray!
RP Booters won against Cambodia and hopefully Malaysia (no news bout that yet)
Peso Rises to 53 to-a 1$

Darker Side:
Itll drive you nuts... better left alone haha stay on the light side